Breaking The Stillbirth Taboo with Aoife Bermingham

In recent years, the public’s attitude towards grief and loss seem to be changing, and more open conversations about the subject are happening, with those bereaved. These conversations, however, are often still regarded as taboo when speaking about Pregnancy & Infant Loss, with the grief often being kept silent.

October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month, and this week Sasha and Venetia were joined by the incredibly inspirational writer and blogger Aoife Bermingham, to speak about her experience with stillbirth, after losing her son Oisin in September 2016. Aoife was also joined in studio by Éabha, her beautiful daughter who was born five weeks previous to the interview.

Aoife’s life changed forever on Tuesday 28th 2016, as she accounts in this beautiful passage from her blog Irish Mum On the Run:

“At 4.05 we got called in. Up I hopped on the bed and the sonographer started putting the gel on. I asked her not to give us any inclination of the gender as we wanted a surprise as I joked with her that at my last anomaly scan the previous year the sonographer said ‘him’ and I spent the rest of my pregnancy assuming it was a boy and was shocked when we had a girl!

At 4.07pm my life changed forever.

The sonographer placed the handle on my tummy and within 5 seconds, placed her hand on my abdomen and uttered the words that constantly ring in my ears (ok I am crying now writing this), ‘Aoife, I am so sorry but your baby has no heartbeat’… my own heart skipped a beat or two, my mouth dried up and my head went foggy, ….’don’t say those words, those words, stop, this can’t be true, try again, this is all wrong, this can’t be true’ is what was swimming around in my head but I couldn’t talk. I looked at the screen and saw an outline of baby just lying there, not moving, on the screen. I couldn’t look any longer. “

In the interview, Aoife speaks in detail about the years and months since that day, and how it has changed her forever. She also discusses the importance of others acknowledging Oisin and his ongoing role in their family.

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Music by: Nctrnm

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