45: How Can I Get Them To See That….

In this episode, Paul and Stacey will talk about a dynamic where someone in a relationship gets stuck in the false belief that their way is the right way and that their partner’s way is all wrong. The issue between a couple could be just about anything, but with this dynamic, one partner feels that their way of solving the issue or their perspective on the issue is the correct one while their partner’s is not, and so they feel that they must make their partner see their way and agree to it. Paul and Stacey see this dynamic all the time among couples, and it sucks the energy out of people, causes kerfuffles, doesn’t solve anything, and in the end completely breaks down a relationship.

A great example of that dynamic is with Susan, one of Paul and Stacey’s students. Susan and her husband Daniel were at loggerheads with each other over their parenting styles. Daniel preferred a disciplinary approach with their kids while Susan was trying to implement a relationship development parenting kind of approach. This made them go head to head all the time, with each being frustrated with the other because they were both trying to convince each other to go with each other's approach.

This dynamic is very destructive, but it’s not anyone’s fault because it’s deeply wired into our blueprints. Most people have been conditioned to think that they must always convince others to see things from their perspective, and this is what Paul and Stacey will seek to help us break away from before they can give us the relationship development tools we need to move forward in the best way possible. If you’re familiar with that dynamic and you wanna learn how to make it a thing of the past in your relationship or marriage, then listen in to this episode.

Key Points Discussed: 

• Missing everything by holding on to the “my way” belief (00:59)
• Breaking the pattern first before learning the relationship development parenting tools (04:42)
• Being raised in the conformity mindset and how it affects us (05:20)
• Everybody has a reason for why they believe what they believe (07:14)
• Understanding that we can’t just have our way because we live within a family setting (13:10)
• Solving your own trigger so you can start collaborating with your partner (17:02)
• Would you rather have some fears and emotional worries, or the real collaboration that you're looking for? (19:44)
• Catch yourself, listen with curiosity, and up-level your skill set (23:55)

Additional Resources:

• The 14-Day Boost Program
• www.MyRelationshipDevelopmentCommunity.com
• www.RelationshipBreakthroughRetreat.com

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