Progress or success

Progress or success

This final section of the book encourages you not to get going and keep going. It also urges you to aim bigger and bolder than you might naturally be inclined to do. I find it harder to do this when I judge myself against the yardstick of ‘Success’ [measured against a goal post or other people] rather than ‘Progress’ [measured against my past self].

While my ego used to want to compete with other people, I have learned that this is a pointless race, a recipe for resentment and unhappiness. The wise thing is to compete only with myself. To try to make the most of my potential and not let other people dictate what I should or must do in my life.

I measure my progress in various ways. Whether I’m earning enough to live. Spending time on what I love. Trying to set a good example and improving the old work-life balance dilemma. I ask whether I feel proud of what I’m doing. Is it of any real use to the world? Am I helping the people I care about feel happy and cared for? Does it allow enough time for me to get out on my bike? 

If you decide to measure your life by ‘progress against yourself’ rather than ‘success compared to others’, what criteria would you measure things by? It is essential to be clear about what matters most. 

It’s also good to remember previous benchmarks. These will help you feel better about where you are right now, providing you are progressing. 

I was so excited when I self-published my first book and could finally say, ‘I wrote this’. (despite the listing on Amazon whose photo was so bad I burst out laughing when I saw it again recently: you could see the flash glare and my blue bedroom carpet.) I felt the same way when I had a book taken on by a publisher. Ditto when I secured a ‘big’ publisher. And now I have grown sufficiently blasé about what people think that I am excited to be writing this book via a free email newsletter.

Looking back like this helps me appreciate that I am moving forward. I have always been terrible at pausing to celebrate. I permanently berate myself about how far I still have to go. If we don’t reflect on the perspective of our younger, less-experienced selves, we deny ourselves the chance to notice that we are progressing.

As you become more adventurous, the terrain you tackle will become rockier and the paths to follow fainter and less well-trodden. But you’re not actually at the start line any more. You have come a long way to get to the point you are at today. You should draw confidence from this momentum. 

I’d urge you to pause and reflect like this from time to time. We can all be too hard on ourselves and make the mistake of comparing ourself to other people or imaginary finish lines. But it is progress we ought to measure, not success.

OVER TO YOU: 

• List some ways in which you have progressed over the years. Notice how far you have already come.
• What is your next step forward?

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