Setting Boundaries: Self Care or Selfish Care

On this week’s edition of Empowered Empaths, Kristin and I discussed the importance of setting boundaries in our relationships with others. Many people think that setting boundaries means that you’re metaphorically standing on the parapet with gun loaded, waiting to open fire on any and all invaders as they approach your post. In that world, everyone and everything is a threat and must be dealt with as such, it is fear based and deeply counterproductive when it comes to having healthy relationships with ourselves and others.Setting healthy boundaries is one of the main tenets of self care, self love and self respect. Since I believe that you can’t give away what you don’t have, I believe that it is vital to cultivate a deep appreciation for who you are, not necessarily because of your accomplishments but because you know you are a sacred aspect of Divinity who is currently inside a human form because something needs doing here and you are the only one who can do that particular thing. We come here with all of the resources we need to do that job and it’s up to us to manage, grow and nurture those resources and distribute those resources as needed to fulfill our life’s purpose.As Empaths, we tend to feel the needs of others and give freely our emotional, mental and spiritual support and I will continue to do so until I feel taken advantage of because the person does not want to learn and grow herself. We are here to learn and grow, not commit grand spiritual larceny by attempting to usurp the wisdom that someone else has gained from doing the work themselves. One of the hardest lessons I have learned is that I can’t and shouldn’t try to alleviate the suffering of everyone I meet, remembering that our greatest wisdom and growth very often comes through pain and struggle. Part of my practice is to walk with someone who is suffering and teaching them to find their own resources and their own path to healing.Putting up healthy boundaries every day is vital for your well being and You can do that by imagining yourself being enclosed in a bubble of light that nothing and no one of evil or harmful intent can penetrate. You are the one who decides who and what gets in while your own energy is able to freely move out. While it may seem selfish to place boundaries around yourself, try to look at this from a different perspective: when we do too much for others, we deprive them of opportunities to grow and learn while at the same time, we disrespect our Divine self, purpose and gifts by allowing them to be stolen. Better to be able to give freely with guidance and discretion. Many blessings...Martha