Spanish Practices - Real Life in Spain
Society & Culture:Documentary
Day forty four, Tea and Pee. Life behind the police lines in Lockdown Spain for a British couple and their three good legs cat.
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Day 44 Tea and Pee
It is Day 44 of our Spanish Lockdown and we have cautiously put the cushions out on the garden furniture.. I know it is a bit rash, but looking at the weather, which of course was cloudy again today, it says there should be no more rain for a whole week.
The weather in Spain varies a great deal, it is a large country and the places with mountains and northern coastline can experience some pretty horrible weather. We used to religiously watch the weather at ten o’clock on La Una, it came just after the sports news.
Monica Lopez is our favourite presenter, she always dressed as though she was off to a very good night out, sometimes she wore a cocktail frock, some nights a glitzy number for the town and there was one night when she was all in leather.. not sure where she was heading that evening? Of course never the same dress and she has a penchant for a thigh length boot. Her clumping around the set almost drowning out her weather news. whilst all the while there is tinkly pinkly weather music playing, possibly to hide her heavy-footed deportment.
The presentation of the weather forecast here in Spain is somewhat different to the staid dull BBC version. Monica throws her arms around like a Cervantes windmill, caressing the interior and exterior of the country, constantly moving from one side of the screen to the other, then she moves along the set to the different maps, clump, clump, clump and there she here is in front of the UV forecast for tomorrow - running her hands up and down like a dervish.
Most of the time her ample bottom obscures our part of the country so you find yourself trying to glance down the side of her thighs to determine just what the weather holds for Motril. In the summer it is usually scorchio, scorchio.
Meanwhile back the BBC, we had a look around the weather department, a few years ago, Chris was the LBC weatherman for just over 17 years. A very nice guy called Nana sits at the top table and makes sure that each weather presenter goes to the right studio with the right forecast. Don’t forget the BBC also have a world service. Their bulletins seem to come from a little studio to one side of the giant screen that sits up on top of the New Broadcasting House newsroom.
Day 43 and yet again we have good figures for Spain, well I say glibly ‘good’ hundreds of people have died, families are mourning their loss, but the figure is much lower than a few weeks ago. Also, they are statistics and I think only give an indication of the true picture.
A few years ago, my mother came to visit, we took her out in the large charabanc driven by Chris. Although it had cost my sister and I quite a lot of money to hire, the Seat Alhambra did not meet with my mother’s approval, the door was not wide enough and it was too far from the ground for her to get into, helping her in was also problematic as her bad arm was the one required to help her into the car. So, I got her a little footstep from the Chinese shop and that did help.
First stop was the Alhambra Palaces, it seemed only appropriate given the car model. I enquired as to the suitability of disabled access to the palaces, there is none, but a wheelchair accessible map allowed a trip around the gardens and grounds.
We had bought the tickets from the bank so where able to use the online ticket machines, but we had to queue to arrange a wheelchair, which involved paperwork at the kiosk and then more paperwork and my Tax number and signature at the gate.
The tour of the gardens was a great success, my mother loved it and I spent the hour or, so the others were going around the palaces with her in the courtyard where I bought her a cup of tea.
Tea is a little problematic in a famous coffee drinking country. Spanish coffee is usually strong enough to blow your head off and leaves you with a slight migraine and vision impairment .. but you get used to it.
To order something like English tea, you ask for Té Negro, that will give you a scalding hot glass cup of black tea. Asking for milk usually gets whoever you are serving you quite flustered.. Café con leche comes with hot milk and that is usually what you get served with separately to the tea.
My mother was not amused and found the taste not to her liking. We spent the time talking about when we were all children and I think she enjoyed sitting there, but after the hour was done it was getting chilly and the day was over.
Success, so the next day we went up into the mountains with my mother and took her on a tour.. not so successful. “Breath-taking views of the mountains mum.”
“No I think I will stay in the car.”
“Take a look at these wonderful Olive trees mum.”
“No I think I will stay in the car.”
“Fascinating Olive museum mum.”
“No I think I will stay in the car.” Brian piped up “Is there a toilet Stephen?” “Yes there is.” I replied. “Well can you take me as I don’t like those foreign toilets.”
I have to say Spanish toilets are pretty much identical to British bogs, true if you put too much paper down or worse they will block, but the same again can be said for the Lavatories of the UK.
So I took Brian to the toilet passing by the lovely Carmen-Maria who runs the little shop. She sells or manner of local produce, wines, cheese, olive oil and the like. I have to say the static display of olive harvesting is well, a bit crap, but it is a nice place to visit if only to pick up fine Iberico Hams.
The next day we brought in the reinforcements in the form of Mark and Maggie and that worked really well. Far up into the mountains to visit some of the beautiful pueblo blancos that nestle in the Siera Nevada.
Both Maggie and Mark kept my mother entertained and Mark engaged her in conversation and the day was much better, only marred by Brian letting off a giant belch that Maggie, sitting in front of him said “blew a parting in her hair.”
Day 44 and a short exercise walk on Saturday outside is filling me with excitement .. but to dampen the whole thing down we might have to follow a strict Spanish timetable of exactly when we might be allowed out into the fresh air.
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