Ilford investigative journalist extraordinaire Mr Jimothy Baker is approached by mysterious source, "DeepShoe", with news of a vast conspiracy underway in the Ilford area; a conspiracy to make shoes not look like feet. Jimothy approaches this vital story with investigative verve, but what if the *real* conspiracy was under his nose the whole time? What is the 5G plan? Is it really just a pledge to get Ilfordians better WiFi, or does it stand for - say - "Gapes' Grand Gory Gruesome Guignol"?
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