64: Leading, Learning. Laughing, and Loving with an Enneagram Type Three

The Enneagram Type Three: The Achiever

It’s another EnneaTalk Tuesday and we are continuing on our Enneagram types series, meaning this week’s episode is all about the Three—The Achiever. Also known as the performer, I discuss the three’s strengths, weaknesses, core motivations, and how to lead, laugh, love, and learn from threes.

Listen to this episode to understand what drives a three, where they go under stress, how to support them, learn from them, speak their language, help them be the healthiest version of themselves, and lead them in growth.

Being recognized for who you

The Achiever is part of the heart triad and their driving force and core motivator is love, approval, and worthiness, which they believe is tied to their accomplishments and achievements. They believe their value is based on productivity, and as a result can be performance-focused, hyperactive, high-achieving, and driven to succeed.

I discuss how threes are optimistic, loyal, enthusiastic, and goal-oriented, and how we can learn work ethic and positivity from them. I discuss how achievers can be so task-focused that they push through and disregard their own feelings, can be overly busy, and become workaholics in order to find the recognition and success they need to feel loved.

How to help threes open up and be vulnerable

I share how to speak to a three so they feel appreciated and seen, how to support them, love them, and speak their language. I discuss the best ways to help them in growth, how to push them to lean into emotions in order to bring out the best in those around them. If you are leading a three, I discuss the different ways you can encourage them, help them get in touch with their feelings, and ensure they don’t get burnt out.

I dig into what to focus on if you are a three, how to recognize if you are putting too much pressure on yourself, and how you have to lean into the difficult things in order to make everything easier. If you are a three, tap into your vulnerability and you will earn credibility, trust, respect and will help those around you shine. If you are a three, remember that people admire you, not because of what you can do, but because of who you are.

Quotes:
“The type 3 is called the Achiever or the Performer and your need is to find your worth or your value in productivity.” 2:01
“The under current emotion for the 2,3, and 4 is shame.” 2:56
“A 3 under stress takes on the average to unhealthy parts of the 9.” 3:28
“If you’re an Enneagram 3 or you love a 3 or you lead a 3 you want to really encourage them that they are worthy because of who they are not because of what they do.” 6:25
“3’s channel their emotional energy into getting things done.” 11:40
“The defense mechanism of a 3 is identification, which means they take on a role so completely that they can lose contact with who they are inside.” 12:28
“If you are a 3, allow yourself to let people see your feelings and not when you’re emotionally charged.” 17:24
“When a 3 sets their mind on something, they show up fully every step of the way.” 20:28
“When the 3 Achiever is of average health, they can be highly image conscious.” 23:15
“One of the most challenging triggers for Enneagram 3’s is criticism.” 27:55
“3’s are the one type in the heart triad whose wings are also heart-centered.” 30:41
“3’s, you don’t have to figure this all out by yourself.” 34:08