How was your day? - How to get your kids to talk to you.

Summary:
Naturally, as moms, we want to make sure we form and maintain strong relationships with our children. We each asked our kids for suggestions for accomplishing this goal. That little exercise generated some great advice that we believe would apply to any parental relationship. Tune in, we'd love to share what we learned.

Girlfriend question: 
Do you think your kids comfortable talking and sharing with you?

Disclaimer: We are not experts by any stretch of the imaginations.The tips below did not come from a licensed professional but from the trial and error of our real experiences as moms.

Tip 1: Learn the preferences of each child then approach conversations with each appropriately. For best results, make time to speak to them individually.  
Example: Run an errand having just one kid along for the ride. 

Tip 2: Now with "The Corona" our old routines are out the window and we can go a full day without seeing our kids while stuck in the same house. Be intentional about making time to talk with the kids.
Example: Read a book together and discuss it.

Tip 3: Be a good listener. 

• Be mindful of your reactions as the kids are speaking with you. Big emotional outbursts could discourage open conversations.
• Try not to interrupt while they are speaking.
• Give your full attention. Avoid distractions during your conversations.
• Focus on listening, don't assume they want you to fix it.

Tip 4: (What works for us is) We are the parent not the friend of our kids and that's ok.

Tip 5: You don't have to agree. Provide a safe space for your kids to share their opinions.

Tip 6: Practice good communication skills within the parental relationship because the kids are watching. If we don't communicate well with each other as parents, they will (1) begin to model our bad skills (2) feel hesitant to engage with us.

Tip 7: Group conversations are important too. Use meal times and TV show dramas to spark family chatter.

Tip 8: Keep offering the kids opportunities for conversations with you. Don't be discouraged all those times they don't have anything to say. Keep making space for it. When something comes up, they will feel more comfortable sharing knowing that you are consistently interested in them.

Related girrrlpodcast episodes (underlined links provided):

Red Flags: Communication skills for talking with your teens and young adults about domestic violence

Love Languages: The importance of speaking to your spouse using their unique love language.

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