13. (In)Validation With Hillary Ditmars

Molly and Liza are joined by a special guest, Hillary Ditmars, a skilled DBT therapist nearing the end of her doctoral program in Clinical Psychology (and Liza’s close friend and college roommate!). Hillary has experience providing DBT to adolescents and families in partial hospital and intensive outpatient programs, and has taught the skill of validation in both multi-family and parent-only settings. In this episode, we explore the key concept of validation, as well as its reverse: invalidation. Validation involves communicating to another person that their feelings, thoughts, or actions make sense and are understandable in a particular situation. We teach how to validate yourself and others, and also discuss how these are key skills for emotion regulation and effective interpersonal interactions. Conversely, invalidation involves denying, rejecting, or dismissing another person's feelings by communicating that their subjective emotional experience is inaccurate, insignificant, and/or unacceptable. We discuss short- and long-term effects of invalidation, including self-invalidation, exaggerated expression of emotions, increased dependence on others, identify confusion, and more. We wrap up the episode with another nerdy DBT exercise: The Validation Game, in which we practice these skills and reflect on how it feels to be validated vs. invalidated by each other. We hope you enjoy!

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