17. How To: Maintain and Improve Relationships Using "GIVE"

Molly and Liza begin today's episode with a review of the core interpersonal effectiveness skill in DBT: DEAR MAN. Liza shares a homework example in which she delivered a DEAR MAN to provide constructive feedback to a colleague, balancing priorities related to objective and relationship effectiveness. Then, we transition into discussing how to deliver a DEAR MAN when the relationship is the main priority. We introduce guidelines for relationship effectiveness through (yet) another acronym: "GIVE" (Be Gentle, Act Interested, Validate, and Easy Manner). Throughout the episode, Liza and Molly pay particular attention to a listener question about resentment, and Molly shares an example that highlights how these guidelines can be used to address this crucial issue in relationships. We end the episode with role plays that emphasize how to use the GIVE skills to ask for what you want or say no when prioritizing the relationship is your main goal. We hope you enjoy!

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