An Untold Love Story (Part 2) - Ken and Joni Tada

An Untold Love Story (Part 1) - Ken and Joni Tada
An Untold Love Story (Part 2) - Ken and Joni Tada

FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript  

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Sufficient Grace

 

Guests:                      Ken and Joni Tada              

From the series:       An Untold Love Story (Day 2 of 2)

 

 

Bob:  Joni Eareckson Tada remembers a time in her marriage to her husband Ken when both of them were starting to drift farther and farther apart.

 

Joni:  I was fearful that I was making Ken depressed. My disability was depressing my husband. So, I would be very careful to take care of as many routines as I could possibly do before he came home from school so that I would not have to walk on eggshells and ask him to do anything for me because I knew that asking too much of Ken would plummet him into depression. For a long time, it was this strange tap dance that we both played.

 

Bob:  This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, May 3rd. Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We’ll hear today what Joni and Ken Tada did when they realized they were drifting apart in marriage. Stay with us.

 

And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us. I’ve been thinking about—I have a son who just proposed to his girlfriend. They’re going to get married soon. I was thinking, “If I could sit them down with anybody, for a little premarital counseling—the couple that could give them the benefits of great experience and theological understanding—

 

Dennis:  You really had thought of me.

 

Bob:  Ah-h-h. You were on the list. [Laughter]

 

Dennis:  I’m kidding you. I know who’s in the studio, Bob.

 

Bob:  You were underneath our guests today.

 

Dennis:  Way underneath the guests.

 

Bob:  I just thought, “Would it be okay if we got some premarital counseling for John and Katie from our guests?” Just let them—they’ve written this book. Tell them about the book that they’ve written.

 

Dennis:  Well, this book is called Joni and Ken: An Untold Love Story. So they need to hear a love story—one that’s gone 30 years, plus.

 

Bob:  And that has gone through some rocky times.

 

Dennis:  Some?

 

Bob:  Yes.

 

Joni:  A few.

 

Dennis:  A few, no doubt about it.

 

Bob:  I just thought, “I wonder what counsel they would give to a couple, just getting started, on the frontend of the journey?”

 

Dennis:  Well, let’s ask them. Ken and Joni Eareckson Tada join us again on FamilyLife Today. Ken, Joni, welcome back.

 

Joni:  Absolutely. It’s good to be back.

 

Ken:  Thanks.

 

Dennis:  I know Ken would like to teach your son how to fly—

 

Joni:  Fly fish.

 

Dennis: —fly fish. I don’t know if Ken ties the flies.

 

Ken:  Yes, but—

 

Bob:  Would that help his marriage if he learned how to fly fish?

 

Ken:  It could, but don’t do it the first year. [Laughter]

 

Joni:  But you know what I had Ken’s best man tell me on our wedding day? He drew me aside and whispered in my ear, “Let your husband keep his dreams.” I didn’t know what he meant, at the time; but of course, this whole fly fishing thing—about which we joke—it’s really important, I think, for guys to have that space—to have those times of connection with other men. 

 

Ken:  And Joni’s been my biggest supporter, during that—the whole time—not that I abuse it—but she knows that I need to have time with guys.

 

Joni:  Oh, yes! You know how you abuse it; don’t you?

 

Ken:  How?

 

Joni:  We’re driving down the freeway and he’ll say: “Hey, there’s a Jaguar that just drove by. Joni, can I have a Jaguar?” “No! Of course, not!” Then, of course, that sets me up for—“Oh, then, you’ll give me the fishing reel.” [Laughter] Okay. I know what you’re up to!

 

Ken:  It took 30 years—but you start high and you aim lower [Laughter]—and asking for a brand-new Jaguar convertible—obviously, I’m not going that direction—but a new fly rod—that would be kind of cool!

 

Dennis:  Yes, there you go. Let’s go back to Bob’s question here. Let’s put it on the line, here. Let’s go back to your honeymoon to talk about some of the most important lessons you started out your marriage learning.

 

Ken:  Well, the one lesson we learned is—I think Joni and I have said before—but we had friends who told us to go out and experiment. We decided, “No.”—

 

Dennis:  Move in with each other.

 

Joni:  Pretty much.

 

Ken:  Well, for the weekend.

 

Joni:  Just to try it out for the weekend—for a couple of weekends.

 

Dennis:  And the reason is—

 

Ken:  Because you know, with a disability, it was a little bit different than perhaps with an able-bodied person.

 

Joni:  Expediency.

 

Ken:  And just to see whether or not it would fit.

 

Joni: If this was going to work.

 

Bob:  See, I hear that story. I just imagine, in my head, you guys going off for a weekend and then you going, “Oh, I guess it’s not going to work.”  “What? Hello!”

 

Ken:  Where’s the commitment?

 

Bob:  Yes. How do you break that news to somebody, “I’m out of here because this part doesn’t work.” Well guess what? You may have seasons where that part of your relationship doesn’t work—

 

Ken:  Exactly.

 

Joni:  Exactly.

 

Bob:...