What “disqualifies us” actually qualifies us.
As Doug puts it: We’re growing or we’re dying. We have to evolve and use the tools we’re given along the way to improve ourselves. “Healed” doesn’t mean you’re perfect, or that when things come up you’ll undoubtedly get through it. Sometimes life throws you curveballs and there’s healing that comes through the reevaluation of the self.
I’ve got more work to do.
Every adversarial situation can be used for the greater good if we have enough self-awareness, courage, and balls to do the work. Many times, our inner victim comes out and wants to blame everyone else, making our problems bigger than they actually are.
When we realize there’s purpose in our pain, it changes the dynamic of that pain and we can feel empowered to come through to the other side.
Being triggered is an opportunity for growth.
Oftentimes, what’s triggering you has nothing to do with what’s actually going on. To be courageous enough to say those situations are conduits for change is POWERFUL.
Doug’s Story
Doug was 20 when he realized he needed to change. He was numbing a lot of the pain he was feeling—first with food and then with drugs—developing a victim mindset early on due to bullying and a troubling family dynamic. Ultimately, he ended up being sentenced to months in jail due to being found guilty of possession with intent to sell.
As Doug describes it, his biggest blessing came out of one of his biggest setbacks. Due to his arrest, he met his cellmate who helped him find fitness and use his time locked up to beat some demons and reinvent himself. He’s now written three books and is the host of the Adversity Advantage Podcast.
Typing session with me!
If you are interested in exploring the Enneagram deeper to truly master yourself and your personal development, schedule a typing session with me. Information does not bring transformation—but knowing how to use it does.
Quotes:
5:45
We have to unpack a lot of our sh*t and take ownership of a lot of it, even when bad things have happened to us.
10:12
Being triggered is an opportunity for growth, and very often if not always, what is actually triggering you has nothing to do with what’s going on inside of you.
16:00 Doug
People who are secure with themselves and confident in where they’re going, don’t put things up their nose to numb pain…
21:25
People use any kind of addiction to do one of two things usually: to numb things out or to bury shame.
27:16 Doug
We can become so attached to loyalty and people that aren’t good for us that we end up sacrificing our own self.
32:38 Doug
Men can go through abuse too.
36:37
Codependency is hands down the toughest addiction to break.
40:40
My greatest sh*t show became the very thing that pivoted me into greatness in my life.
51:06
Shame and guilt has zero good to do in your growing.
52:13
I could very easily feel guilty about that but that’s not going to make things better; love and compassion and truth and honesty and accountability will.
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