In this article, we discuss and dissect the idea of being a "victim" of addictive disorder; we discuss the how family members and significant others are perfectly set up to see themselves as victims, and what to watch for in order to disengage from that kind of role.
Here's what we cover:
- Loved ones, family members where one of you is an addict, are perfectly set up to become so-called "victims" because the addictive disorder is imposed upon you without your permission, without warning.
- The idea that "bad things will keep on happening" says that "things" are outside themselves and overlook the idea that change needs to happen on the inside if there is any chance of a better life.
- Blaming others or outside forces is a handy way to duck personal responsibility and it has a payoff: not much work is required to hold onto an infantile attitude and have people feel sorry for you.
- Those playing the victim role will continue to do so unless someone close to them, someone in a 12-step meeting - or if they are in a therapeutic setting - first shines a light on their self-defeating attitude.
- The victim then sees that she is only a victim if she believes she is. Perception had become confused with reality. The shift from self-pity to self-assurance arising from faith then becomes possible.