#6: Caught in the Web of a Psychopath

In todays episode we talk to Jacquelyn as she revisits her journey at 48 years old in a very dark place with a psychopath. Of course at the beginning she had no idea he was and was about to change her life forever, in the worst way. Never tried drugs before in her life. She found out he was a meth addict and had been for 12 years before she came along. Soon all his manipulative and abusive ways worked so effectively on her because of her own internal deficits. Her own fear of being alone and intense need for love and affection. So skilled at manipulation it was still her choice to give herself away to him. Jacquelyn talks about how she thought she could fix him, love him more and all would be ok. She took comfort in knowing he would never leave me, his hold on her was inexpicable, perplexing and defied logic or reason. His highs on meth were the good days, the bad days were when he was coming down from the high, where the abuse started. She thought she was losing her mind from all the lies and circles of truths and told they were her imagination. The day came where she knew he wasn't going to stop but leaving him would break her heart. This is common in abused victims, thinking no one will want them or fear of disappointing family and friends, so they stay thinking its easier. That is the love bombing, the intense love words from the abuser that he is the only one who loves you and you are worthless to everyone else. Don't feed into the lies ladies. Please open your eyes and know that this is NOT love and NOT ok.

Fast track 4 years and she was a bruised and broken Intravenous meth addict herself. The abuse was horrific. Physical, emotional, financial, moral, every level imaginable. The physical abuse only started once he had isolated her from her sons, her family and friends and once he had her away from them he began to offer her meth. She ended up in a very dark place where death was the only way she could see that would save her from her pain.She fled from him 16 months ago after he attempted to strangle her. In the end, she went back to her home town and recovery has been the most painful yet healing experience of her life.

Her book "From the Other Side" is a look into the frightening world of drug addiction and domestic violence. Her story shows that even an educated woman with life experiences can be caught in the dark web of a psychopath. Today, Jacquelyn is healing trauma through Pen and Paint. This therapeutic method works because sometimes, we just don't want to relive it or talk about it. Get it out on paper, in paint. Speak your truth, tell your story however that looks for you. Jacquelyn is such an inspiration of survival through drug addiction and domestic violence, who knows why he stopped strangling her, but I think someone was looking after her that night she needed to survive and tell her story, help others survive and cope with the trauma. I applaud you and love you so much for sharing this story, I knew it would be tough as we shared a very similar story of abuse that no woman should ever share or go through. Thank you Jacquelyn Ann!

 

You can find her book at https://www.jacquelynann.me/

 

She is also on Facebook at Jacquelyn Ann if you want to check out her story and read her book. Bring tissues, you will cry with her as she recounts every detail.