Worst Christmas Songs Ever And It’s Pronounced Heron News Show 12.4.2020

This is the Babylon Bee Weekly News Podcast for the week of 12/4/2020.

In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like Biden’s all-female communications team reminding us that we should already know what’s wrong in the nation, Biden’s arm falling off in peanut butter jar opening attempt, and a bowl of porridge getting a record-shattering 80 million votes. Kyle and Ethan inform you about the worst Christmas songs ever so that you can avoid them. There’s weird news, glorious hate mail, and Kyle learns how to pronounce the word ‘heron’.

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Introduction

The Babylon Bee wishes our fanbase in Wyoming, MATT TUNSTALL, a happy 40th birthday!

Also, Ethan is having some killer deals at his Axe Bear Store with a way to get a free Axe Cop trade paperback. 

Stuff That’s Good

Kyle likes The Battle of Five Armies Behind the Scenes Video

Ethan likes Axe Cop the Game which is available now on Steam!

Weird News

More than 150 Santas ride jet skis for Guinness record

Mike Tyson eats ear off Roy Jones Jr. cake ahead of exhibition bout

 

George Clooney Has Been Using Flowbee For Years

Anti-gay Hungarian politician József Szájer resigns after being caught attending 25-man orgy in breach of COVID-19 rules

 

Eel bursts out of Flying Heron’s stomach alien style

 

Stories of the Week

Story 1 - Biden All-Female Communications Team Won't Tell Nation What's Wrong, Nation Should Already Know

Summary: Biden's transition team has announced they will be appointing an all-female communications team. According to sources, the team will not tell the nation what's wrong, since the nation should already know.   

 

Story 2 - Biden's Arm Falls Off While Trying To Open A Jar Of Peanut Butter

 

Summary: Staffers have revealed that Biden was the victim of yet another tragic accident after his arm fell completely off as he attempted to open up a jar of peanut butter.

 

Story 3 - In National Survey Of Favorite Foods, Lukewarm Bowl Of Porridge Wins 80 Million Votes

Summary: In a surprise result from a national survey of favorite foods, the winner, with 80 million votes -- blowing away the previous record of 69 million votes -- was a lukewarm bowl of porridge. The soggy bowl of chopped grains has apparently exploded in popularity around the country and is now handily the most beloved food of all.

Topic of the Week: The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

• Mary Did You Know?
• The Christmas Shoes
• Last Christmas
• Wonderful Christmastime
• Little Drummer Boy
• Baby It’s Cold Outside
• We Three Kings
• Anything by Chris Tomlin “Joy to the World”
• Santa Baby
• I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
• Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
• All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth
• Feliz Navidad
• We Wish You a Merry Christmas
• 12 Days of Christmas
• Every Hanson Christmas album

Bonus: Christmas songs we like

• O Holy Night
• O Come O Come Emmanuel
• Rob Halford’s III Winter Songs
• Dio’s God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman
• Stryper - Winter Wonderland
• Handel’s Messiah

Hate Mail

A concerned fan believes the Joker has released laughing gas at The Babylon Bee studios and some dude has a thing for sweaty jars of mayonnaise.

Subscriber Portion

Behind the Scenes Update

Subscribers actually get to see the subscriber-exclusive lounge.

Mailbag

Video question from subscriber Allen Boone.

Bonus Hate Mail

This is the most flowerbedded email we have ever received.

Headline Forums

Got Any Cool Stories?

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