Lies Run Sprints, While Truth's Run Marathons |David T.S. Wood

Humans are conditioned to lie. A recent study showed that the average person lies three times in a 10-minute conversation. Why do people lie? The truth is that people lie for many reasons. People lie to gain freedom, to fit in, to avoid embarrassment—more reasons than you can count.

 

Sometimes, telling the truth can be incredibly hurtful. Words delivered clumsily or in anger can make a lasting negative impact. Learning to tell the truth with compassion is difficult—but important. Why? David. T.S. Wood shares his thoughts in this episode of My Extra Mile.

You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in...

 

Why humans are conditioned to lie How to tell the truth with compassion Why you should trust your gut feeling A challenge to clean up your act How do you tell the truth with compassion?

 

When you wield truth, it allows other people to be truthful around you. But it can be difficult to pull off elegantly and compassionately. David has friends who have awful body odor (it wasn’t for lack of resources). They didn't want to use deodorant because it can be harmful to your health. People talked about them behind their backs and it started to interfere with David’s relationship with them.

 

So, David started their conversation with: “Is this a good time to chat?” He warned them it might be a tough conversation and he wanted them to be prepared. His intention was to build a stronger relationship with them. If he didn’t care about the person or the outcome, it isn’t a compassionate truth.

 

David breaks a conversation down into these steps:

 

Enter a conversation with someone when you’re in a good headspace. Make sure the other person is in a place to receive whatever you have to say. Go into the conversation with an outcome in mind. Tell the truth with compassion.

 

Telling the truth isn’t about being angry. It’s not about you being right or wrong. If you want your words to change how people behave or you want to be understood, then angry words accomplish nothing. The other person closes down and there is no room for truth. Examine where you’re coming from. You need to wield truth with compassion and elevate yourself above the situation.

Learn to trust your gut

 

When people aren’t being truthful, you feel it. You might not be able to pinpoint it, but you have a gut feeling that you’re being lied to. You HAVE to trust your gut and your subconscious mind. When people aren’t telling the whole truth, you lose respect for them and trust in them—and rightfully so.

 

The subconscious processes 4 billion pieces of information every second when our conscious mind only processes 2,000. When little kids don’t like someone, parents tend to poo-poo it and force them into situations they’re not comfortable with (like showing someone affection when they don’t want). When that happens, we lose the trust in ourselves to trust that little voice and trust our intuition.

Why is living in a world of truth so powerful?

 

You gain respect, forge greater connections, and build self-confidence. You gain a deeper sense of self-trust. David has found that negative energy ends when you tell the truth. We all know what it feels like to own the truth. Sometimes it can be liberating and other times it’s awful. But when you accept responsibility for your mistakes and tell the truth—No matter how embarrassing it is—most people appreciate it and empathize with you.

 

Are there some conversations that you’re afraid to have? Are there areas where you’re exaggerating or embellishing? David challenges you to look at your life: Practice cleaning yourself up. Stop telling the white lies. Lead with intention and remember what you want the outcome to be. Make your conversations solution focused. Build toward telling the truth with compassion—all the time.

Resources & People Mentioned

 

Randy Pausch Quote Connect with David T. S. Wood

 

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