Episode 19: Snake Preacher, Aging Politician, and a Canadian Snow Angel

Kathleen opens the show with a freshly poured spicy bloody Mary, mixed with Idaho Born & Bred craft potato vodka from Grand Teton Distillery. She moves on to tell a story about drinking vodka in Afghanistan with Kid Rock and Kellie Pickler while on a USO tour.

DOLLY PARTON QUOTE: Kathleen reads a Dolly Parton quote involving diets and mashed potatoes.

“BAD GOOD FOOD”: In her quest for new and delicious not-so-nutritious junk food, Kathleen describes the recently-released Holiday Rice Krispies, in which she will dump cups of white sugar on the red-and-green cereal bites since she hates rice krispy squares. She has also purchased Mini Krispy Kreme crullers for the holidays, which she recommends warming in the microwave for a few seconds before eating.

SOCIAL MEDIA TO FOLLOW: Kathleen tells listeners to follow Dionne Warwick on Twitter, who just joined the platform with help from her niece. She also thinks that everyone in the Twitterverse needs to follow her comedian friend Jackie Kashian for comedy that regularly makes Kathleen snort beer through her nose.

UPDATE ON KATHLEEN’S QUEEN’S COURT: As listeners know, Kathleen’s #1 Queen is Dolly Parton, and Kathleen has just discovered Dolly’s 2016 cookbook “Dolly’s Dixie Fixin’s.” Dolly boasts about being up at 3am every day, which is why she’s a big fan of cooking breakfast for her husband Carl Dean. Kathleen discloses that if she is ever up at 3am, someone needs to put her to bed because she’s gone down a rabbit hole in a bar.

She goes on to honor Dolly’s most recent reported “angel gesture” when she saved the life of one of her young costars while on the set of her new Netflix holiday movie “Christmas on the Square” when she pulled the child out of the way of an oncoming vehicle.

BANKSY STRIKES AGAIN: In following the renowned street artist Banksy, Kathleen reports to listeners that a new Banksy mural of an elderly woman sneezing out her false teeth has just appeared in Totterdown.

FALWELL JR DROPS CHARGES: In her ongoing obsession with Jerry Falwell Jr, Kathleen updates listeners on the drama surrounding the ousted president of Liberty University. Falwell Jr’s legal team has recently announced that he has dropped his defamation lawsuit against the university, with no reasons for the dismissal noted.

RIP CHARLIE PRIDE: Kathleen is saddened by the death of Country Music superstar Charlie Pride, who recently passed away at 86 years of age due to complications of COVID-19. She loved his voice and especially his hit song “Kiss An Angel Good Morning,” and tells listeners a story that she found of Charlie playing in baseballs Negro League and being traded to another team for a bus.

ANIMALS MOST LIKELY TO KILL YOU BY STATE: Kathleen continues with the new segment of the Pubcast: Animals Most Likely to Kill You (By State), as reported by the Center for Disease Control. If you live in Colorado and Connecticut, beware of mountain lions. Kathleen then tells listeners about a random afternoon that Ron White helped her cut down an “illegal tree.”

ATTACK RATS AT CHIPOTLE: Kathleen reviews a terrifying story of rats besieging a NYC Chipotle restaurant, attacking staff at the restaurant over avocados. The staff developed survival tactics to ward off the infestation of rats, and eventually the location was closed when the rodents finally chewed through the computer wiring.

ZOMBIE MINK: Expanding on EP 18’s Danish article regarding zombie mink, Kathleen advises listeners that reports from Canada are also stating that mink in Fraser Valley farms are testing positive for COVID-19. She admits that she didn’t realize that mink coats are still popular, and tells a story of watching Mike Tyson purchase mink coats in Las Vegas years ago while she was working at Harrah’s for the weekend.

TIGER KING BILL PASSES: Like many listeners, Kathleen became mildly obsessed with the 2020 Netflix series “Tiger King.” As the series shone a light on personal or private zoos and the lack of care for the exotic animals, the US House of Representatives passed the Big Cat Public Safety Act last week which bans most big cat ownership. Kathleen applauds the legislation, and moves on to tell listeners of a recent news article involving a missing tiger in Knoxville, TN, which was never resolved.

ALABAMA SNAKE: Kathleen is absolutely thrilled to discover a new HBO documentary called “Alabama Snake,” featuring a snake-handling preacher’s deadly plan to murder his wife with one of his snakes. She then tells listeners of an assignment that she took as an anchor for ESPN covering “Rattlesnake Roundup” in Big Spring, TX.

ANIMAL BRIDGE: Kathleen reads a fantastic feel-good article about an overpass that was built specifically for wildlife to cross I-80 outside of Salt Lake City.

CANADIAN CHRISTMAS ANGEL: In her support and love for all things Canadian, Kathleen shares a story with listeners about a man in British Columbia who saved a family from Georgia who were stranded while driving from the Atlanta area to Fairbanks, Alaska to meet up with their husband/father Tim. When they gave up driving in the snow, the local townspeople put up a Facebook message asking if anyone would be able to finish the drive to the Alaskan border. Gary Bath discussed the situation with his wife, and volunteered to drive the Marchessault family to be reunited with Tim. The group made it safely to the Yukon Border crossing, and Kathleen gushes that this has the makings of a Hallmark Christmas movie.

AGING POLITICIANS: As mentioned in her act, Kathleen CANNOT believe that the US political system has so many members currently active well past the standard age of retirement. Diane Feinstein (Senator, CA) just turned 87 years of age, and Senator Chuck Schumer has had several painful conversations with Feinstein about stepping down from the Senate Judiciary Panel, but Feinstein continues to tell people that she’s running for another term.

2020 CHRISTMAS STAR: Kathleen has purchased a child’s telescope, and reminds listeners of a rare occurrence set to take place December 21st, 2020 when Jupiter and Saturn will cross paths and appear to be a mega-star, or “Christmas Star.”

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