EP 0101 - The Selfish Nature of Anxiety and Fear

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Anxiety disorders are selfish disorders.  Anxiety and fear are self-centered and will push their way to the front of the line at all times.  When struggling with an anxiety disorder, the selfish nature of the disorder often makes you look selfish and self-centered.  The disorder is selfish.  You are not. Anxiety and fear drive self-centered behaviors in three ways:

Disruption Based on Avoidance

Anxiety causes you to spend your time scanning for threats. Every situation is evaluated based on how it may make you feel.  Decisions are made based on the drive to avoid the feelings and thoughts that you hate and fear.  When your anxiety drives you to cancel engagements, avoid places and situations, and flee from discomfort, the change in your lifestyle impacts the people around you .... 

Becoming The Center of The Universe

Anxiety and fear will drive you focus on yourself continuously.  In any given situation, anxiety will demand the lion’s share of your attention. While those around you are focused on solving a problem, resolving a conflict, or enjoying a social gathering, you likely found yourself occupied primarily with how you are feeling.  While the world asks, “What shall we do now?”, you will ask, “How will this impact ME?!” ....

Feeding The Beast On Down Low

When anxiety and fear have the door slammed on them, then get creative.  You may have been told by friends and family  – or even your therapist – that talking about how you feel and seeking constant soothing and reassurance is no longer going to be tolerated.  Your anxiety disorder does not like that news.  Often it will compel you to find “sneaky” ways of making itself seen and heard ....

What Can I Do About This?

First, work on being aware of when anxiety is driving self-centered behavior.  Then, get to work.  You can't really fix the self-centered stuff without working on full recovery anyway, so this could be the spark you need to start moving forward!  When you're doing the work that needs to be done to solve the bigger problem, change the narrative with your friends and family ...

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Intro/Outro Music: "Afterglow" by Ben Drake (With Permission)

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