Today I decided to be completely honest and share my struggles with you. And the reason for this is not to ask for petty or anything. I simply thought that some of you might have been going through the same thing and we could possibly figure out how to overcome some of those struggles.
So, periodically I am getting writer’s doubts and I start questioning myself if I can really write? If what I write is good enough? If I have any potential at all? And if my writing is worth anything.
These doubts became really strong recently. The reason is - I have enrolled in Writer’s Bootcamp and starting from the 1st of this month we are writing up different exercises… Then we read, provide feedback, critique…
The ultimate goal of the course - or at least how I see it - is to learn writing well, to make sure that your quality is high and that you learn the craft. But it’s a painful process. I guess any growth is…
It’s painful because in the beginning you start realizing where you stand now. And now… having objectively evaluated where I am, I am not happy about that. So now the doubts are no longer about if I am good or not… because I already know that I’m not… at least yet. The doubt now is about the future… it’s about whether I will be able to master the craft and ensure the quality I’d like my writing to have.
I think the bootcamp was just a catalyst. We usually have writer’s doubt coming back to us when we don’t see results… and when we don’t see result we lose the motivation to carry on. And I guess when we lose motivation that’s when we have to push harder… otherwise we may end up sliding down the spiral… and coming back up will be harder than pushing a bit more from where we are now…
So every time I get into the stage when things don’t grow and I don’t see results I get disappointed. Right now, looking at what I’ve done so far I realize that things haven’t moved much… my podcast has not grown from what it was few months ago, I have not finished my book and I have abandoned my fiction…
And what’s the hardest to admit is that it’s completely my fault. I should have worked harder, I should have written more and I should have put aside my humbleness and promoted more what I’ve already done…
So today I spend some time and went back to my reviews. I read the reviews you guys left for my podcast and I went to Amazon and read the reviews that were left for my fiction books. Usually it helps me get on track and reminds me that there are some people who need what I do and that my time and efforts are not wasted.
That made me think that maybe writer’s doubt grows when there is lack of encouragement around. [spp-tweet tweet="Writers, who go through the painful process of growth are vulnerable."] They need an extra hug and a positive affirmation.
Meanwhile, let’s chin up, pull ourselves together and work harder.
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