119: Killer Graces with Steve Melen

When we go through extreme pain, it’s easy to feel like we’re all alone. We doubt that anybody has felt the level of pain that we are currently experiencing. Life begins to feel hopeless and we start believing that there is just no reason to carry on. However, there is always some good ahead. Think of the countless stories of those who have survived unimaginable circumstances and lived to tell about it. If we will just do what we can at the moment, taking as few steps as we can muster, and keep our eyes locked on the amazing things to come, we, too, can endure any trial. Today I am speaking with Steve Melen, the author of Killing Graces. Steve carries a resiliency and a hope for getting through the hard stuff in life that is inspiring. During our conversation, we discuss his journey through stomach cancer, addiction, and survival. Steve is an amazing example of someone who has gone through extreme struggle and pain and made it out to the other side. His story is both riveting and hopeful, so tune in to hear it all for yourself. *In this episode, you will hear:* * The story of how Steve found out he had stomach cancer and how he endured all of his treatments. * How he got addicted to opiates. * When he first realized he had a real problem with opiate addiction. * How he began to get off of the pain meds. * How being a father gave him the strength to push through withdrawal. * His attempts at getting back to a sense of normalcy. * The emotional pain he was holding inside and how he worked through it. * The patterns of numbing he fell into. * How therapy helped him finally heal. * Where the idea for Killer Graces came from. * How he came up with that title for his book. *Key Quotes:* [09:16] - “Everyone... thought the worst was going to happen and so they weren’t going to stop me from numbing my pain.” [13:21] - “So, I left the hospital and said, ‘Now I'm just going to… fight this. I'm going to go through this battle of detox and I'm going to take it on. And I did and I didn't realize how hard it was. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.’” [16:55] - “If I didn't have her I don't know where I would have gone. I would have probably found some other purpose. But at that point… that’s what I had. I needed… not… to have her be 15, 14 years old like she is now and be like, ‘Oh, I don't really remember,’ or just look at pictures of me. I did not want that to be the case.” [17:23] “When you're in all of that pain, just focus on that: this is where I am going, this is what I am doing, this is how I'm going to go.” [17:35] “The focus has to go off of yourself.” [30:07] “I hope no one goes through this. But we all have family, children, parents, relatives going through these things. And it's going to be hard. Something's going to be hard for you at some point.” [32:51] “You just said, ‘I'll just do the next step. I'll just do the next thing in front of me. I'll just keep doing it, one little thing at a time.’ And really, that's all you need to do and you'll get there.” [35:49] “Have faith in yourself that you can do more than you think you can… face it and do what is suggested and what you feel is right... Try to make progress, as little as the progress can be. *Subscribe and Review* Have you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts ( https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-addicted-mind-podcast/id1268632042 ). Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com ( http://www.theaddictedmind.com ) to download it. *Supporting Resources:* Steve’s website: https://stevemelen.com/ Killer Graces : https://www.amazon.com/Killer-Graces-power-breakthrough-living/dp/1735165719/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=killer+graces&qid=1614194588&sr=8-1 NovusMindfulLife.com ( http://www.novusmindfullife.com/ ) * Episode Credits* If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com ( https://emeraldcitypro.com/ )