RE 317: Debunking: Sober is Boring

Episode 317  - Lean into the support from people who want to help you.  Dig into yourself.  There is an endless well of spirit, heart, and capacity that we all have. We just need to tap into it—everything you need you have.

 

Lunita took her last drink on October 10, 2020. She is from San Diego.  This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF)

 

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Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message

 

There is a myth of sobriety, that sobriety is not fun.  Odette finds joy when people debunk this myth.  Some of her favorite badass sober stories include:

 

Bradley Cooper – sober at 29 years old.   He attributes his career success to his sobriety.

Brad Pitt – credits his sobriety to Bradley Cooper.  

Florence Welsh – sobriety does not doom you to boredom. 

David Lloyd George, British Prime Minister in the early 1900’s, backed the licensing bill. 

Dax Shepherd says he wouldn’t have anything he has without his sobriety.  His guests and podcast sponsors are a lot of fun.

Anthony Hopkins recently hit 45 years, sober saying, “Hang in there.  Today is the tomorrow you were so worried about yesterday.  Young- people, don’t give up.  Just keep in there”

Cristiano Ronaldo, a Portuguese soccer player, is sober.  His father passed from alcohol abuse, and Cristiano has changed his life trajectory and is a role model of sobriety for his family.

 

Al Pacino, Jamie Lee Curtis, Robert Downey, Jr., Eminem, Chrissy Teigen, Keith Urban, Kelly Osbourne, Ben Affleck, Gillian Jacobs, James Franco, John Travolta, Shakira, J.Lo, Stephen King, Eva Mendes, Tom Cruise,  Natalie Portman, Elton John, Zac Efron, Tyra Banks, Daniel Radcliffe, Demi Lovato, Chris Martin (Coldplay) among many others are on the sober team.

 

We are not alone, we are not boring, quite the contrary.  Sobriety is the gateway to authenticity.  How do you feel about joining the alcohol-free club and staying in it with us?

 

[8:57] Odette Introduces Lunita

 

Lunita is Latina like Odette.  She hit reset on  October 10, 2020.  She is an American-born bi-cultural person from San Diego and a single mom.  Her father is from Panama, and her mother is from Mexico.  Her daughters are 9 and 11.  She is a yoga teacher and healing arts practitioner.  She loves nature, plant medicine, yoga, and she is a poet, writer, painter and loves anything to do with arts and the body. 

 

[11:42]  Tell us about your history with drinking?

 

Lunita took her first drink at 14 in Mexico, where the lines are a little more blurred.  As she looks back at that time, drinking gave her a sense of calm and inner knowing that she had never felt before.  Her nervous system was soothed by alcohol.  She was a highly sensitive child, and her parents didn’t know how to manage her gifts. 

 

She drank through her teenage years into her twenties.  Occasionally she would blackout.  She liked drinking.  She said alcohol took her from a highly sensitive introvert to a comfortable, fun drunk.  It awakened her artistic side.  She didn’t want to stop because it was fun. 

 

Fast forward, Lunita got pregnant, got married, had two children, and drinking became her coping mechanism for managing parenting as a young adult.    She was a part of the mommy wine culture.  She realized she was drinking every night.  After she and her husband separated, her drinking became dark.  She drank every night while trying to hold it together for work and her daughters.  She hated her life and felt terrible and disconnected from herself every day.  Her husband and best friend made comments about her drinking, but she didn’t want to stop. Drinking became a medication, a chemical dependency.  Alcohol was sinking Lunita.

 

In her thirties, she was cornered by a cousin, then her best friend who caught her sneaking drinks or blacking out. 

 

[17:19]  How did you respond to the comments from other people?

 

Lunita said she was telling herself it was ok.  She would get defensive or appease others with slogans like “mommy happy hour”  “5 o’clock somewhere”.  She was presentable, so she didn’t think there was a problem. 

 

She found herself being very inconsistent.  She was eating clean, practicing yoga,  running, drinking green smoothies, but drinking every night.  She was aware of the dissonance, but she still didn’t want to stop drinking.

 

[20:52}  Tell me about the shift within you.

 

Lunita said she started drinking hard liquor instead of beer or wine because she could get drunk faster, with fewer calories.  Her body reacted right away.  The hangovers became worse, she lost her appetite, and the fun of drinking turned into darkness.  She began to experience rock bottom moments in relationships or at work.  She was no longer in denial but wasn’t sure what to do.

 

Four years ago, her friend said, “you’ve got to do something.” She was sober for two years.  Since then, she’s had some resets.  She knew it was die or get sober.

 

[24:06] Have you identified the reasons why you would drink again, and what tools have you added along the way?

 

Lunita said community, healing, yoga, meditation, and plants allowed her to release alcohol from her life for two years.  She felt alive, vital, and fresh.  Then she said she thought she could pursue healthy drinking with wine or beer, no hard liquor.  She wasn’t blacking out, but she noticed a gradual backslide with her relationships and her work.  The old habit wasn’t serving her anymore.  She had a brief period of drinking again but was sober for six months.  In October, she reset her self-talk and said, I am not doing anything that doesn’t serve me.  That became a massive shift for her, from her highest self.   She doesn’t choose anything that doesn’t suit her anymore.

 

She now focuses on activism about alcohol.  She believes it is a privilege to have a functional relationship with alcohol.  Now that she is sober, the work she is offering the world makes a difference.

 

[31:16]  Tell me more about this time being different?  How do you deal with cravings or discomfort?

 

Lunita said she deals with discomfort by leveraging therapy.  As a human, she wants to do her own work while continuing to help others.  Her therapist has been crucial.  Accountability through community has been instrumental for her.   She said that having a sober partner has made an enormous difference for her, and she appreciates his support.  Community is huge for Lunita, and her yoga practice, breathwork, herbs, and running are pivotal.  They help healthily regulate her nervous system.

 

Lunita drinks embarrassing amounts of Pellegrino, teas, tonics, and elixirs to overcome cravings.

 

[35:21]  You described yourself as a sensitive person, an empath.  How has the acceptance of your true essence shifted your ability to be authentic to yourself?

 

Lunita said it had been a journey and a stubborn need to overcome the distortions, toxic family structure, the lies she told herself, and accept she is not like anyone else and isn’t meant to be.  Her reclamation of herself came from sobriety and being sober.  She avoided talking about recovery during her first two years of sobriety because of the shame.  Now she knows some of the most radical, authentic beings have issues with addiction.  She is learning to make space for herself, rebel for herself, and heal herself so she can be an example for her daughters.

 

[41:46] Tell me about your relationships and how they have shifted over the years?

 

Lunita said the law of quantum physics means our vibe attracts people who are with us.    She was attracting certain people who were looking for a healing, medicine, or heart.  Those relationships were not serving her because they were one-way relationships.  Now she has an amazing partner because she is serving her highest self.  She attracts people who participate equally in relationships with her.  She was dating the same version of who she was.  When she started honoring her true self, all of her relationships changed.  She now attracts beautiful heart-centered people.

 

[46:39}  Rapid Fire Round

 

1. What are you excited about right now?

I am completely myself – for better or worse.  In every relationship, in every moment, I am myself.  It is such a relief.

 

2. What would you say to your younger self?

Your weirdness is magic.  You don’t have to try to be cool, Do YOU.

 

3. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate chip cookie dough

 

4. What piece of guidance would you give to listeners who are thinking about ditching the booze?

You are so much braver and more capable than you think.  If I can do it, you can do it.  Seek support from people who want to help you.  Dig into yourself.   There is an endless well of spirit and heart.  We just have to tap into that – it’s there.  I promise everything you need you have.

 

You may have to say adios to booze if ….

 

If you are hiding bottles.

 

Odette’s Weekly Challenge

Search for sober people in your interest bubbles (sober Mom’s, sober artists, sober photographers, sober writers).  We are all out here; you just have to look closer.  Denzel Washington said, “I made a commitment to completely cut out drinking and anything that might hamper me from getting my mind and body together.  The floodgates of goodness have opened upon me:  spiritually, emotionally, and financially. 

 

You are not alone, together is always better.  Welcome to the sober club.  I promise it's going to be fun. 

 

 

 

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