Fear breeds anxiety. Anxiety and fear go hand in hand with traumas and not always just one but years of various types. Who knows when it began for me, but after a tornado, a car accident, miscarriages, and homeschooling stress...suffice it to say, I have had my share of overwhelming anxiety!
While the panic attacks are no longer a part of my life, anxiety didn’t just disappear. It just found new ways of showing itself. It came in broken sleep, heart flutters, waking in a sweat or short of breath, racing thoughts, difficulty concentrating, uncontrollable over-thinking…..ohhhh the over-thinking.
So I began my journey of figuring out what that looked like. I had a lot of healing to do and that meant looking at some not-so-pretty sides of my thoughts and habits.
Have you ever had a time when you were sick and tired of feeling sick and tired but you just weren’t sure where to go or what to do? Have you ever lied awake at night in worry about life, worry over your kids, worry over finances, jobs, friends, loved ones, health….just worrying over anything and everything?
I finally began learning how to combat that sick feeling. Not only from address nutritional issues but also...anxiety itself. Who knew a lot of it was all connected?!
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not been a simple fix. And there are days when my anxiety begins to rear it’s ugly head. Now, I have the resources to be able to do a self check…
My devotional time is my one constant. I have felt closer to the Lord and seeing His incredible power through His Word has brought me comfort in the middle of chaos.
As a homeschooling mom, I have often times felt anxious and overcome with worry over whether or not I was doing the best I could, doing all the right things, being the best I could for my children. I have lied in bed at night in fear I was screwing them up. Even when you aren’t homeschooling, I am sure every parent has felt that way more than once. Even when your children are grown, I imagine that worry continues.
That being said, if you’re in a time of life when your anxiety seems to take over your thoughts, I hope you can hear me now and know that you are not alone. It’s not something I’ve suddenly gotten a grasp on and gotten over. Not only that, but as I said earlier, when you deal with it for so many years and due to so many contributing factors it becomes a way of life. You sort of learn that it’s a part of you. The thing is, it’s something that does NOT have to run your life.
I love the words. “Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand. But I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand.” We can spend our days in worry. We can simply not understand why life is how it is. We can fret and live in a state of anxiety. But are we anxious out of the NEED to be in control? When we find rest in the One who holds tomorrow…when we let go of our pride because really, that has SO much to do with it…when we learn to release it, doing our part by taking care of our health, delving into His Word, building a personal relationship with Him…it is THEN we will find rest. Trust. Serenity.
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Email me: courtney@imperfectlypollyanna.com
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