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In this episode we explore the connection between thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and behaviour.Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) has been useful at helping us identify how our interpretations of a particular event, rather than the event itself, determines how we feel about it. It is our reaction to situations that make them problematic, not the situation itself. Most of the time something happens to us and we assume that the thing that happens to us makes us feel sad, upset, angry etc. What we often fail to pay attention to is that we have an underlying belief or belief system that assesses a situation and comes up with an interpretation. These interpretations frequently don't serve us well. This is true in relationships where our partners says or does something that we interpret as disrespectful, annoying or hurtful. Subsequently we may fight back or sulk and lick our wounds. It is also true in dating scenarios where you may chose to interpret another person's lack of response as a lack of interest. Understanding our underlying beliefs gives us more control over the outcome of a situation that we find frustrating. We have a choice in being offended for example. Thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and behaviours are in constant interaction with each other. For example, I might think that nobody likes me. I then feel sad or angry. I notice a sinking feeling in my stomach. As a result, I may decide to stay at home in order to avoid feeling bad about myself. This is in turn will generate thoughts that I am not worthy of liking and so on and so forth. In a CBT model the idea is to break this cycle. You can start for example to change the behaviour by going out more often. This might make you feel a bit better about yourself and can positively influence thoughts and feelings.

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