How to Deal With Negativity | Road to Revenue #63

6 Steps to Deal With Negative Thoughts

When we experience negative thoughts, it is important to take a few minutes to contemplate the reasons behind them before you react. I advise following these six steps in order to avoid letting the triggers of your ego get in the way of your actions.

1. Realize that the “lens” we view life through may be a bit distorted. In other words, our view of things may not be reality. While our minds have a way of convincing us of things that aren’t necessarily accurate, we must be willing to question and challenge our own thoughts. Here are some questions you can ask yourself in order to open your mind a bit.

• Do I see everything as black or white with no in-between or am I starting to make sweeping generalizations about people or situations? When you start to fall into this pattern of thinking, stop it in its tracks and replace it with positive, productive thoughts.
• Do I always assume the worst possible outcome? Do I blow small events out of proportion? Recognize that most of the time, situations in our lives don’t turn out nearly as badly as we play them up to be in our minds. Resist the urge to let these events or thoughts take root and grow in your mind.
• Do I fail to see the positive side of situations? Make an effort to take your negative thoughts and turn them on their heads.
• Do I personalize the actions or comments of others even if I have no proof that those are accurate assumptions? For example, if a co-worker doesn’t smile at me, do I assume they are mad at me even though they may just be having a rough day or may have something else going on? Obviously, reading into benign statements or actions by others in a negative way will only hurt you—and oftentimes for no reason. Try not to personalize the actions or comments of others unless you have proof.\Do I have a problem or conflict with someone in several areas of life? If you have had consistent issues with various jobs or relationships, the problem may lie with you. Analyze the similarities in each instance and how you might have been the contributing factor. Once you determine the issue, you can work on it and move forward for success in the future.

These are all signs of distorted thinking. Instead of letting your mind wander, make a conscious effort to take these thoughts into captivity, analyze them, and replace them with healthy thoughts.

2. Avoid judging yourself and others. Often, we unconsciously judge ourselves and others throughout the course of the day. By letting go of the judgements we are making and replacing them with positive thoughts or judgements, we are setting ourselves free of negative thinking.

3. Don’t complain. No one really wants to hear it, and it won’t help you feel better. Take action to fix things that you are unhappy with instead of griping about them.

4. Don’t engage in gossip; it is toxic and divisive. Spreading gossip won’t help you in the long run, even though you may feel better at the time. Gossiping will cause others to lose respect for you, and will cause problems within your family, social circles, workplace, or other places where you engage in the behavior.

5. Find gratitude and satisfaction in your own life. When you show gratitude for the blessings and strengths you have, there is little room to be dissatisfied, envious, or resentful of others. It automatically shifts our thinking to the positive aspects of our lives, rather than focusing on what we’re lacking. Consider creating a gratitude journal and adding to it every day in order to help you stay focused.

6. Get professional help if you are having trouble controlling your negativity. If you are unable to curb your negative thinking or actions towards others, it can sabotage your relationships, your job, and your health. In this case, seek counseling to address the problems you are having.

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