186: How to Have Those Difficult But Crucial Conversations With Friends and Colleagues, with Joseph Grenny

Thank you for listening to our Finding Brave show, ranked in the Top 100 Apple Career Podcasts!

"The goal of the conversation is not to convince. It’s not to compel, and it’s not to control. It’s not to try to get the other person to think something different. As soon as we believe somebody is trying to control us in that kind of way, we resist. So the very effort to convince, it makes you less convincing.” - Joseph Grenny

Contrary to how many people feel in our world today, it is possible to tell the truth and avoid alienating a friend or colleague or engendering terrible and painful conflict. With so much distrust among family, friends, colleagues and our leaders, it’s vital to not to take the two standard approaches - being silent or violent -- on core issues but instead learn the essential skills behind expressing yourself candidly yet cordially. Today’s Finding Brave expert guest reveals how it’s not having different opinions that’s the problem in our conflicts, rather it’s how and why we express those opinions, and the approach we take before even entering the conversation.

Joseph Grenny is a four-time New York Times bestselling author, dynamic keynote speaker, and leading social scientist for business performance. Joseph has spoken at some of the world’s premier leadership conferences. His books have been translated into 28 languages, are available in 36 countries, and have generated results for 300 of the Fortune 500.

I had the honor of interviewing Joseph and David Maxfield in my Forbes blog in 2015 in a piece on Gender Bias Is Real: Women’s Perceived Competency Drops Significantly When Judged as Being Forceful, on their groundbreaking research on gender bias, and I’ve often quoted the information that their research uncovered that proved gender bias is not imagined, it’s real - and their research showed on how women’s perceived competency and perceived worth drops exponentially more than men’s when they are are perceived as forceful or assertive. I’ve featured their work in my TEDx talk Time to Brave Up, and in my new book The Most Powerful You and my Most Powerful You Course which is why I’m so excited to speak with Joseph today and bring you his expert insights and perspectives on navigating crucial conversations.

To learn more about today's guest, visit: https://josephgrenny.com/ or www.vitalsmarts.com