Episode 44: Lion or Lamb: Part 3 - Gentleman Doesn’t Mean Pansy
The word PANSY is often used to describe a weak man - but let’s make sure not to equate that title with the title of gentleman.
My grandmother always told me that a pansy was actually a tough flower. It could stand against the cold, and grow in pretty adverse conditions… it still though has a reputation for being “girly” – and the flower’s name has been embedded culturally to imply weakness or a lack of masculinity.
This civility does not erase the wild, passionate strength that lies in a man’s heart. A gentleman can hold his own in a bout of fisticuffs or fencing. He can heft a child on to his shoulders, pick up his bride to carry her over the threshhold, and defend the tender things he holds dear with ferocity and strength.
My thoughts on this are two-fold.
1. Just because you wear a tie to work, or drive a minivan, or eat kale – does not exempt you from the wilder side of manhood. Make sure that you know how to defend yourself and the things and people you love. Make sure you keep your physical body strong and ready to perform.
2. Inversely, just because you are a strong and brave, do not neglect the tender touches needed in civilized life. Say Please and Thank you. Snuggle with your children. Read poetry. These things do not affect your ability to be manly. In fact, I believe they enhance them.
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