60. The Nick Stumbo Story: Breaking The Chains Of Shame
Welcome to episode #60!
In this week's episode, Nick Stumbo, Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, shares his story and talks about how to break free from a culture of shame.
Trying harder doesn't work
Attempting to beat porn in a a try harder mentality leads to a binge purge cycle, and it led Nick to years of struggling behind closed doors and being bogged down in shame and guilt. When we focus on just the behaviour, it becomes about managing a problem on the surface level, but true freedom comes with inner healing which is where the root of the problem is located. Porn is just a coping mechanism to deal with pain, trauma, or even emotion that we don't know how to deal with or regulate well. When Nick dealt with the root, that is when he began to experience true and lasting freedom.
Being in a group is vital to healing
For Nick, being part of a group helped him to learn about the underlying issues about his porn use, and when he was honest and vulnerable in a group it helps others as well! We need a group to help us learn and heal, and it breaks us out of the isolation that we tend to hide in when we are struggling with porn. To join a pure desire group click here.
Shame attacks us to the core
Guilt revolves around the idea that we did something wrong, whereas shame makes us think that there is something wrong with us. It attacks our identity, our sense of worth and it leaves us feeling like we have no value and that we don't have anything worthwhile to give. These are lies that make a porn addiction so harmful, because we feel like the only place that sense of worthlessness is masked over is when we look at porn. This creates a downward spiral that is really hard to come back from until we deal with the sense of shame in our lives.
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Next week, Matt and Braden start a four-part series called the "Path Out Of Porn". You don't want to miss it!!
Resources
Pure Desire Ministries
Join a Pure Desire Group
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honored to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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