DOA - Wait, where's the jiggle physics?

Another massive video game adaptation comes to us in the form of a fighting game with massive jiggle physics. Somehow they managed to supplement the jiggle with one of the dumbest villain idiot plot we've ever come across.

So let's get the obvious question out of the way - is DOA the movie as jiggly as the game - no. The sexuality in the movie is way toned down - due to trying to reach a mass audience including the sexually conservative Chinese market. Bummer.

With that in mind, maybe that's a good thing (well good for us) because the focus shifts from bouncy boobs to ridiculous stunts. The male gaze of the camera is still there but the focus is shifted to medium wide shots to get the sheer magnitude of the stupidly ridiculous stunts and wirework. I mean wirework is a great tool for supplementing great stunts but this goes so far over the top that the stupid circles back and becomes awesome.

However, as great as all the ladies are, Eric Roberts once again steals the show. Why anyone says, "Oh we've got Eric Roberts. Lets spend $30 million on it" is absolutely beyond me. He stinks so bad and its beautiful. One of the worlds greatest tragedies is that Eric Roberts had a very successful sister in mainstream cinema. Otherwise, he likely would have still been Eric Roberts but would have had to work harder - likely putting himself in front AND behind the camera. We'd have another Tommy and Neil Breen roaming around out there - this one focused solely on karate movies. It would have been fantastic! Anyways, Donovan is the most self sabotaging villain we've ever come across. Seriously, he kills himself and blows up his own island for karate glasses. Wow is Donovan stupid.

Despite DOA's nasty reputation, it's a classic stinker and should be viewed by anyone who loves cheesy stupid films. It's great.