Ep #138: Changing defiant behavior

Dealing with defiant behavior can be difficult for many parents. They may feel that their child will never make any improvement, and dealing with defiant behavior will be forever a part of their family dynamic.

We 100% know that behavior skills can improve defiant behavior. To improve a child's behavior, though, it requires a parent to make some changes too. 

It can be easy to think that defiant behavior is all our child's fault without realizing that our behavior or reaction may make their behavior worse.
Are we too strict, and are they craving out some freedom? Are we too lenient and have learned that they can get whatever they want by acting out? Do we not listen and jump to conclusions when they are trying to explain something?

It's vital to evaluate what is happening in the home that may be contributing to your child's defiant behavior. You may think you're doing everything right, but your child may need something different than what you are doing.

Because every child is different and has different needs and it's essential to make sure we address their needs. If their needs aren't met, they will try to get those needs met through other means--often through defiant behavior or acting out.

When parents are willing to make changes to help their child, then your child is more likely to find success as you are adapting to what they need. We should be asking ourselves,  "What does my child need from me to make the change permanent?" and then make the changes.

When parents make changes, it changes the dynamic of the whole entire family and will improve your child's behavior.

You can find a transcript and show notes for this episode on SmarterParenting.com