"Thank You, that made me feel good."

If you’re in leadership, or a boss of some kind, and you wake up one morning realizing you don’t appreciate those you lead, it’s time to make a change. The change won’t come immediately, and it won’t be easy, however, realizing it is a great first step. The second step is to repair the relationship with those you’re managing.

Remember that leading is only effective through influence. When you are leading people, they aren’t following you because of the words you say, they are following you because you’ve influenced them to do so. Lack of influence equals lack of followers.

This also applies to parenting. As parents we are leaders of our family. Over the weekend, I was given some advice as I’m looking to repair the relationship with my kids. When my kids were younger, I implemented a coaching parenting style – I wouldn’t advise that style.  Now that I’m older and have read numerous parenting books, I realized my error and have spent this year finding ways to strengthen our relationship.

The advice that was given to me is when they do something positive say, “thank you.” In addition to saying “thank you” follow it up with how their action made you feel: “Thank you, that made me feel good.” This simple acknowledgement works in the home front and at the office. By communicating to them you feel good because of their action, you are placing a value on them and their action.

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