By asking the one simple question, “How do I respond to expectations?” we gain exciting insight into ourselves. And when we know how other people respond to expectations, we understand them far more effectively, as well.
We all face two kinds of expectations—outer expectations (meet work deadlines, answer a request from a friend) and inner expectations (keep a New Year’s resolution, start meditating). Our response to expectations determines our “Tendency”—that is, whether we fit into the category of Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel.
Knowing our Tendency can help us set up situations in the ways that make it more likely that we’ll achieve our aims. We can make better decisions, meet deadlines, meet our promises to ourselves, suffer less stress, and engage more deeply with others.
Just as important, knowing other people’s Tendencies helps us to work with them more effectively. Managers, doctors, teachers, spouses, and parents already use the framework to help people reduce conflict and make significant, lasting change." (Source: www.gretchenrubin.com)
In this week's episode:
- 0:05 – Welcome to FALL
- 1:28 – The crazy chaos that comes with kids
- 2:22 – Going through the mom brain when your child gets hurt
- 6:44 – Procrastination, excuses and reasons
- 7:40 – The difference between excuses and reasons
- 9:32 – The 4 Tendencies – How Do I Respond to Expectations?
- 11:00 – follow along on the quiz so you can find your tendency
- 11:23 – the difference between inner and outer expectations
THE QUIZ
- 13:12 – Have you kept a New Year’s resolution where you weren’t accountable to anyone—a resolution like drinking more water or keeping a journal?
- 14:56 – Which statement best describes your view about your commitments to yourself?
- 15:38 – At times, we feel frustrated by ourselves. Are you most likely to feel frustrated because…
- 16:40 – When you’ve formed a healthy habit in the past, what helped you stick to it?
- 17:42 – If people complain about your behavior, you’d be least surprised to hear them say…
- 19:08 –Which description suits you best?
- 19:39 - People get frustrated with me, because if they ask me to do something, I’m less likely to do it (even if they’re a boss or client).
- 20:33 – I do what I think makes the most sense, according to my judgment, even if that means ignoring the rules or other people’s expectations.
- 20:42 – Commitments to others should never be broken, but commitments to myself can be broken.
- 20:50 – Sometimes I won't do something I want to do, because someone wants me to do it.
- 21:01 — I’ve sometimes described myself as a people-pleaser.
- 21:10 — I don’t mind breaking rules or violating convention--I often enjoy it.
- 21:19 – Ashley’s tendency
- 23:50 – ways we motivate based on your tendency
- 25:28 – how to inspire a rebel, and obliger and other tendencies
- 35:34 – What tendency do you kids and partner fall in to and how that can help you and them
- 41:45 – Do you work good under pressure with a shortened timeline
- 42:20 – The difference between procrastination and avoidance
TAKE THE QUIZ - https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/four-tendencies-quiz/
