To Valhalla, motherfuckers! Emo-son-of-a-cunt-clew to the 5th volume of the Through Niflheim to Valhalla Edition of Monday Morning Aural fornicatin’ Sex! Firstly, allow me to apologize to your over-caffeinated nipple faces for this edition arriving so late. In case you’re somehow unaware of who I am, procrastination has been a motherfucking silverback on my back for ages now, and it took a little while for my skull to re-inflate after being pummeled to paint by said silverback on my back. I have no good excuses for why I procrastinated to such a degree that I temporarily deprived you all of such delectable aural delicacies; I suppose you’ll just have to learn to endure the unknown a little in your life from time to time. So yeah, I was actually still picking tracks up until 4:30 AM, which is terrible since this edition is 3 hours and 40 minutes long, but I chose to nap while I waited. Y’all know how naps go when your body’s craving sleep: they get longer and longer despite you knowing you should get your ass up and shakin’.
Secondly, this is all new shit yet again! Still no new Heilung, but there is some news on that front. They’re coming through this area in early September, and I’m fuckin’ going! I, along with like 8 other friends, will be seeing Heilung, and it’s no doubt going to be fuckin’ amazing just like the last time. I can’t wait to see if they do anything new in their performance, ‘cause I’m 100% here for it. Anyway, yeah, all new shit (except for two tracks, but you’ll never figure out which ones they are, mwahaha). I was toying with the idea of making this 5th volume a retrospective since I had already procrastinated to such a degree, and retrospectives seem oddly appropriate to me at 5 & 10 milestones for whatever reason. Re-fuckin’-gardless, I muscled through mountains and mires of medi-fuckin’-ocrity to compile this for y’all’s eager-ass fuckin’ earholes. Not to put down viking folk/metal as genres, but good lord is there a lot of fuckin’ filler out there. That applies to most every genre, in my opinion. That’s why I take it upon myself week after week to put myself through the discomfort of sifting through the blahhhh to give you the ahhhh! Or something…
As usual, the more frequently you see an artist’s name on these editions, the more heavily I recommend them. In this case, that goes for Brothers of Metal (although they’ve got a lot of silliness in their catalog), Ensiferum, Eluveitie, Amon Amarth, Theodor Bastard, Danheim, Fuimadane and so fuckin’ on. One track in particular that got my nipples in an uproar is the cover of Röyksopp’s classic track, “What Else Is There,” by Enslaved. The original is one of my favorite tracks ever sprung from the mind of mankind, and this cover does so excellently pay tribute to it. You’ll be hearing that one around the end, so be sure to stick a-fuckin’-round.
All that garbage doo-doo trash stuff nonsense done did and said, let us resume this seemingly endless quest through the frozen wasteland of Niflheim to the warrior’s paradise of Valhalla!...
Which is to say: yojne.
01 Adam Skorupa, Krzysztof Wierzynkiewicz - Hear Our Call (Main Theme) (from Ancestors Legacy OST) [00:02:20]
02 Brothers of Metal - Ride of the Valkyries (from Emblas Saga) [00:04:57]
03 Miracle Of Sound - Valhalla Calling (Metal Version) (from Valhalla Calling (Metal Version)) [00:08:20]
04 AURORA - Running with the Wolves (from All My Demons Greeting Me as a Friend (Deluxe)) [00:12:02]
05 Fuimadane - Thor (from Thor) [00:15:09]
06 Ensiferum - Axe of Judgement (from One Man Army) [00:19:14]
07 Turisas - Stand Up and Fight (from Stand Up and Fight) [00:23:45]
08 Varien - Blood Hunter (from Blood Hunter) [00:29:06]
09 Amon Amarth - Blood Eagle (from Deceiver of the Gods) [00:32:52]
10 John Lunn, Eivør - Blood Moon (from The Last Kingdom OST) [00:36:03]
11 Månegarm - Nattsjäl, drömsjäl (from Nattväsen) [00:42:27]
12 Samuel Kim - Ezio's Family (Valhalla Version) (from Ezio's Family (Valhalla Version)) [00:48:14]
13 Dzivia - Dzikaje Palavańnie (from Rujnuj) [00:50:30]
14 Korpiklaani - Vodka (from Karkelo) [00:57:29]
15 Nordheim - Beer, Metal, Trolls and Vomit! (from Lost in the North) [01:00:27]
16 Cellar Darling - Avalanche (from This Is the Sound) [01:03:55]
17 Ensiferum - One Man Army (from One Man Army) [01:07:55]
18 Andrei Krylov - Lament of the Knight (from Fantasy On Medieval Music of England, France, Italy, Spain for Early Renaissance Lute) [01:12:17]
19 Æther Realm - The Fool (from Tarot) [01:14:29]
20 Eluveitie - Quoth the Raven (from Everything Remains (As It Never Was)) [01:22:22]
21 CLANN - Once Again (from Seelie) [01:26:59]
22 Týr - Against the Gods (from Hel) [01:32:48]
23 Throne - Viking Ships (from Blvck Ceiling) [01:38:29]
24 Peter Gundry - Víðbláinn (from Víðbláinn) [01:43:49]
25 Amon Amarth - Destroyer of the Universe (from Surtur Rising) [01:48:13]
26 Nytt Land - Ragnarök (from Odal) [01:51:49]
27 Ensiferum - In My Sword I Trust (from Unsung Heroes) [01:58:22]
28 Songleikr - Vinda (from Godtfolk) [02:03:39]
29 Eivør - Trøllabundin (from Slør + Bridges) [02:06:11]
30 Månegarm - Hemfärd (from Vredens tid) [02:10:38]
31 Guilhem Desq - Le château magique (from Visions) [02:19:01]
32 Skálmöld - Kvadning (from Baldur) [02:23:06]
33 Fuimadane - Fuimadane (from Vegleitir) [02:30:58]
34 Brothers of Metal - Kaunaz Dagaz (from Emblas Saga) [02:35:34]
35 Theodor Bastard - Kukushka (from Vetvi) [02:39:41]
36 Equilibrium - Himmelsrand (from Waldschrein) [02:45:00]
37 Danheim - Ímar (from Mannavegr) [02:47:30]
38 Ivar Bjørnson & Einar Selvik - Rop Fra Røynda / Mælt Fra Minne (from Skuggsjá) [02:50:27]
39 Heldom - Myrkr (from Myrkr) [02:56:07]
40 Wardruna - Raido (from Raido) [02:59:55]
41 Gealdýr - Sær (from Sær) [03:04:29]
42 Enslaved - What Else Is There (Bonus Version) (from E) [03:07:59]
43 Theodor Bastard - Requiem (from Volch’ya Yagoda) [03:12:33]
44 Finntroll - Can You Forgive Her? (from Nifelvind) [03:15:04]
45 Danheim - Lifa & Daudr (from Hringrás) [03:19:21]
46 Eluveitie - Rebirth (from Rebirth) [03:25:22]
47 Orden Ogan - Come with Me to the Other Side (feat. Liv Kristine) (from Gunmen) [03:30:15]
48 SKÁLD - Ó Valhalla (from Vikings Chant (Alfar Fagrahvél Edition)) [03:36:26]
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