Yael and Charley: How does a couples therapist help a young couple?

Hello, and welcome to The Human Nurture Podcast. I'm Jason Brand a couples therapist from The City of Berkeley in The State of California and I'm your host. This season, we're asking the question– “How does a couples therapist learn to do that?!?” And we're doing it through long form interviews with actual couples and then feedback sessions where I sit down to talk about the couple with another PACT trained couples therapist (PACT stands for A Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy). 

In this episode, we are breaking the seal on a new couple. Charley and Yael, and they're going to actually lead us out of Season 2. 

Charley and Yael, it's hard to write their name without a smile.  You will hear from the first moment that they are a brave and trusting couple and so open to being helped. They are a young couple in their early thirties and they've come to do some braiding. What do I mean by braiding? Well, currently they've got some areas where things feel knotted up between them, it's hard to differentiate what belongs where. Our job is going to be integration. We're going to be trying to take all these different strands, make something more cohesive out of them and give Charley and Yael the tools to do this braiding as a team.

A few things you need to know for this first interview. First, we recorded over zoom and it's during the height of the 2020 Shelter in Place in the middle of the COVID pandemic. Charley is actually my barber. Actually, he's not my barber anymore, however, he would still be my barber if he hadn't moved to a new shop. (He's a great barber.)

Before this season of the podcast was recorded, while he was cutting my hair, I told Charley about my plan for the season. He showed some interest, he asked Yael and they agreed to participate. I had never met Yael before these interviews.

A few things that you should listen for in this interview. First, is that this is a great example of therapeutic alliance and the things that flow from it when it is strong and positive. The second is how the session moves back and forth between examples of current day relationship challenges and early experiences with families of origin. Also, how hard I work (sometimes gracefully, sometimes not so much) to help them to remain on even footing when it comes to their current and past relationship, strengths and challenges. 

So, I think that's what you need. I've got a bunch of interviews with Charlie and Yael and some really great consultant interviews coming up for you over the next few months. So settle in for the ride and… Off we go.