Life Talk with Craig Lounsbrough
Religion & Spirituality:Christianity
"In the Footsteps of the Few - The Power of a Principled Life"
Not Where We Were - Finding Ourselves Somewhere Else
It seems that we have some vague and rather ethereal sense of where we’re going in this thing called life. For the more contemplative soul, that sense might be quite refined. For the casual traveler, it might be a bit more nebulous and scattered. For many, where they’re going is defined by the tasks of the day, rather than enlarged by a vision for tomorrow.
In many cases where we’re going is far more rigorously defined by all the places where we don’t want to go, rather than the places where we do want to go. At other times its definition is rather handily shaped by the opinions of others, or it’s carved directly from the bedrock of the value systems that have been built into our lives throughout the whole of our lives. For others, it’s based on the need to avoid the pain of our past or somehow prove our worth in the face of a self-image that lays battered and bloodied. Vague or refined, we all have some sense of where we’re going. And too often, we find ourselves ending up someplace else.
Some of us are not necessarily in conscious pursuit of wherever this place is. We have this instinctually primal sense that it’s there and we intuitively assume that our path will take a natural course to wherever that place is. Then, there are others of us who are myopically focused on where we’re going to the degree that everything that we do is wholly defined by that singularly beguiling destination. Some of the more adventurous souls among us nimbly pursue that destination, spiritedly pulling in as much of everything that we can along the way to accentuate both the journey as well as the destination. In whatever way we do it, we all have some sense of where we’re going. And too often, we find ourselves ending up someplace else.
The Detours We Create
Yet, life is not so predictable as to always wind its way to the places that we presumed it to be going. There are those times when where we were going was bafflingly mistaken as some sort of final destination when in reality it was only a step to a final destination. At other times the place where we’re going is really a destination that we had fabricated because the place to which life had originally called us appeared too big, or too far, or too steep, or simply impossible in whatever way our limited vision happened to interpret it. At such times we craft some other less intimidating and thoroughly unfulfilling destination. Sometimes our destination is to set a course away from our destination so that we can dispense with whatever responsibility or obligation our original destination might have demanded of us.
And then in the magic of life, there are those times where we have actually pursued some authentic destination with such rigorous tenacity that the trajectory of our efforts has catapulted us past our destination to places that are everything of our furthest and fondest imagination. However, it might play out, we’re all headed somewhere.
The Detours Life Creates
But then there are those other times when life takes a sharp turn that seems little of our actions, nothing of our destination, but everything of circumstances designed to kill our journey and crush our destination long before we get within arm’s length of it. There’s a sense that something intrinsically unjust, stealthy and evil is always about and on the prowl, and whatever it is, it’s bound to show up if it hasn’t already. When it does, it undoes everything that we thought was secure and certain, wreaking havoc on whatever our journey had been to that point. And to whatever degree it wrecks the road underneath our feet, we’re left in a blurring trauma that renders our journey disjointed, our destination uncertain, and our lives dispirited.
The Explanation of Detours Missed
How It Happens
Yet, more often than not it’s the not the obvious shifts in our journey that are the core problem. Sure, life shows up and we get shoved down. There’s no question that the natural ebb and flow of life, whether it be titanic or miniscule, will happen to us. Despite our frequently ego-centric inclinations to the contrary, we are not so shrewd or ingenious as to be able to traverse life in a manner that deftly side-steps everything that comes at us. We don’t dance as well as we think we do. Our ingenuity falls prey to our arrogance, and the winds that we assumed to be reliable often shift and drive our genius toward some rocky shoal. And so, life will fall upon us, or ram against us, or pull the ground out from under us, or wreck us.
Casual and Careless
Yet, more often than not, the explanation doesn’t rest in life having shown up. The much more poignant issue is that too often we are passive, flabby and lax in rigorously living out our lives. We’re far too casual and careless. Somehow, somewhere the exquisite sanctity of life and the priceless privilege of living it out was supplanted with some sense that it’s too much work or that it’s not going to work, so why try? The gift is lost in the grind and we lose a sustaining sense of gratitude.
We get caught in the shallows, forgetting that the deepest waters hold the greatest treasures. But we would rather forage for trinkets because treasures are too stubborn to just hand themselves to us and we will not succumb to such preposterous demands. The shallows become our calling when they are nothing more than our coffin. Therefore, we drift without knowing that we’re drifting because we’re no longer paying attention. We come to believe that we are living a life of great things because it is too overwhelming to embrace the truth that we have forfeited great things. The outcome of such passive living is that we end up finding ourselves somewhere else without ever seeing it coming.
Preoccupied with Pabulum
Too often we’re too preoccupied with pabulum. We’re tediously engaged with tiny things and we’re caught in the tedium of minutia because we can gather these things around us and control them when the bigger things are out of our control. Too frequently we’re goaded by the fear of big dreams and massive possibilities, so we dumb down our lives to anesthetize those fears.
There’s plenty of pablum to go around. Therefore, we assume that if we collect sufficient quantities of it, it will add up to something bigger than pablum. Yet, dreams are never constructed of pablum and our fears are never put at bay by any collection of it, regardless of how massive. It is an escape, but it is never an answer. It’s a detour, but it is never a destination. It is an imitation of what we are attempting to avoid. Subsequently, pablum gives us a sense that we can circumvent everything that we fear and still achieve everything that we dream. We’re caught in small things, and the outcome is that we end up finding ourselves somewhere else without ever seeing it coming.
Along for the Ride
Frequently we presume that we’re some docile passenger along for a ride that’s going wherever it’s going, so we just let it go to wherever that place is. We freely surrender to passivity which is an invitation to meaninglessness. And meaninglessness is the death of the soul itself. Life is a river, we say. And the best course of action is to navigate it because entertaining the far-fetched notion of swimming against it is utterly preposterous.
Assuming that we are along for the ride releases us from any accountability for the ride and where it might end up. We are innocent. Or we’re victims of circumstance. Or our families put us here because they didn’t know any other place to put us. Or we’re simply being obedient to whatever we’ve subjected ourselves to. Assuming we’re on a ride that we can’t direct, the outcome is that we end up finding ourselves somewhere else without ever seeing it coming.
The Walls of Denial
At other times, we live in the constructed confines erected from the raw material of denial, causing us to live out a life that is in denial of life itself. We become squatters living in a squatter’s camp constructed by the flimsy materials of justification, rationalization, blame-placing and projecting. We pull in the walls due to the reality that materials of this sort are always pulling inward because they will die if we dare to press them outward. Hemmed in by walls of this sort, the world around us is shut out and moves on without our awareness of it.
We live in walls that we pretend are horizons, or vast doorways that open to massive expanses and marvelous places. In time, we come to believe that they are not walls at all as we’ve visualized them as something that they will never be. We then live out our lives in these confining hovels, convinced that we are forging great mountains and running in wild places. The outcome is that we end up finding ourselves somewhere else without ever seeing it coming.
Ending Up Where We Wish to Be
We will end up somewhere. The fact that we have a destination is irrefutable as life is a journey that presents us with no option other than the journey. We may decide that the nature and course of the journey is irrelevant, and we may take a backseat to passivity. If we do, we have no right to complain when we end up in some place other than what we may have thought or preferred.
Yet, we can recognize that we are not automatons subject to the flux of the world within which we have found ourselves. It would seem advisable to recognize that we have an obligation to the course that our life is taking, and that along with that obligation we have been granted a profound degree of power to bring to the course. If we imprudently succumb to carelessness, or become engrossed by pabulum, or if we just let the ride go wherever circumstances take it, or if we pull close the walls of denial this thing that we call life will wind itself to wherever it’s going with no one at the helm. And that kind of destination cannot be good.
We would be wise to inventory our lives and determine if we are in some way large or small participating in any of these behaviors. If so, we need to root them out and expunge them from our lives. Reclaiming a sense of vision, and then seizing our lives with discipline and intentionality will set us on a path that will land us in places that we’ve dreamt to land. If we don’t, the place we land may not be on any land that we even remotely recognize.
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