Everyday Happiness - Finding Harmony and Bliss
Education:Self-Improvement
A conversation with some moms about choosing high school electives and what I learned.
Transcript:
Welcome to Everyday Happiness where we create lasting happiness, in 2-ish minutes a day, through my signature method of Intentional Margins® (creating harmony between your to-dos and your priorities), happiness science, and musings about life.
I'm your host Katie Jefcoat and I was on a group chat recently with a bunch of moms talking about their kids are transitioning from elementary to middle school and middle school to high school and this convo started down the path of choosing high school courses and choosing extracurriculars and then the impacts of college and all the things. Not only was my head spinning, but I could feel my blood pressure start to rise. So many opinions on what to do to prepare for college and what not to do and so many choices.
Wow, it’s a lot, friends, and having never gone through this my head was a puddle.
But one comment stood out to me more than anything else.
The mom said, she asks her kids “does this make you happy”?
Wow, that’s interesting? Not, will this help your GPA? Or how will this look on a college essay or transcript? But instead, will this make you happy?
I mean, we’re all trying to raise good kids that are kind and come out of adolescence with some shred of confidence and a strong sense of their own mental health. The research suggests that happy optimistic people are more successful. So maybe this mom is on to something?
Now, of course I am not saying to throw the gradebook in the toilet and joy ride through high school. But I wonder if the mounting pressure is the right move? It seems harder now than before. Maybe that’s my own mind’s revisionist history, but adolescence seems harder these days.
I would argue, perhaps, this is less about “does this make you happy” and the question really is, do you enjoy it, even when it’s hard work, because even things that are our passion still require hard work and can make us stressed and possibly unhappy sometimes, but it should also bring purpose and fulfillment. Now, not every high school or college class is going to be great. Don’t get me wrong. What I am fearful of, is kids being part of clubs for the sake of college essays and doing things for the wrong reasons that they end up miserable, and that can’t be good either.
I don’t have the answers and I don’t have a crystal ball. Every kid is different, of course. But I wonder if we ask our kids: where are they the happiest or most fulfilled in the elective curriculum and extracurricular activities, if that allows them to really shine. If they are happy with those choices, perhaps that mindset carries over to the mandatory curriculum and frankly parts of life.
As adults we all know life isn’t a party all the time, but we get to have moments of joy mixed in, with hobbies and philanthropy we are passionate about. Maybe letting the kids take that lead would also be a step in the right direction.
This is what I am pondering today. If you have any thoughts on this, please send them my way as I really need to explore what this looks like. Until next time, remember, kindness is contagious.
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