How to Reclaim Your Identity in Divorce w/Wendy Sterling, CPCC, ACC, CDS, Divorce Healer & Recovery Coach

Wendy Sterling’s mantra is to “Stand in your own identity. In order to do that we must know our core values.” She created The Divorce Rehab™

 

Here are topics Wendy will speak to in this interview:

 

Core Values: Honesty is the biggest value to Wendy. Respect is the second biggest value.

Connection is the third biggest value: Family, Friends, Love

 

“I betrayed myself because I didn’t stick to my core values’” Wendy Sterling. When Wendy started to recognize how she strayed from what she really wanted in life, she started her path to self-identity and recovery from her old less authentic self.

 

“Don’t live with should’s. Live with your own core values.”

 

“A lot of who I became in the marriage was a result of not standing in my own core values, and not communicating what I wanted out of life.  I wish I had stood up for what I wanted in the beginning. I stopped trying because I felt unseen.”

 

Stop being a victim and reclaim your identity and your responsibility in your own life. I played the victim for many years until I lost people in my life and lost my way in my own life choices.

Victim vomiting is a process that keeps you sick and in the place of a victim. Stop sending out invitations to the pity party.

 

What is the truth about you, your choices, your marriage, and your future?  People look at the negative way too much. To heal you must see the good reflection of yourself.

 

It’s so easy to lose your authentic self by letting the other roles take over: Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend. In order to live in connection with other people we still have to define our own authenticity first, and then work in tandem with those in our lives.  People will understand if you choose to do something for yourself other than what they want you to do. You don’t have to be mean or harsh when you communicate your needs to those in our lives; you just need to be nice, clear, and honest.

 

Have people in your life who want to listen, understand, and support you in how you want to move forward.

 

Taking responsibility for your part in the marriage will change the dynamic of the dissolution and make it be the transformative experience that it can be. Communicate to be heard, not to drown out your spouse’s voice. Take responsibility for the mistakes that you made. Acceptance will follow.

Self-compassion and grace will meet you on the other side of taking responsibility for your actions and your words.

 

There is acceptance of yourself and acceptance of your spouse. Both levels of acceptance are important to move forward, especially if you will be doing co-parenting once the divorce is final.

 

Owning your truth, how you define yourself, the choices you make for your best life, can only be done if you stop being a victim, stop blaming anyone for your life situation, communicate honestly and congenially, and take responsibility for all of your life choices.

 

Wendy Sterling Biography

 

Wendy Sterling is a certified divorce specialist and grief consultant who has helped thousands of women design a life they choose instead of feeling stuck in the one their ex left them with. After ending her own sixteen-year marriage, Wendy saw first-hand the lack of support divorced women experience in moving through pain, fear and anger to experience joy, self-worth and freedom again. She channeled her energy into building a six-figure business in just two years that helps women heal their wounds, end their victim mindset and reclaim their identity.

Wendy’s expertise has been featured in more than 100 media outlets including NBC, Hello Divorce, Romper, Moms Moving On, The Smart Women Show and more. She is also the host of her own podcast, The Divorced Woman’s Guide, which has had over 70,000 downloads in less than two years. Wendy has also hosted summits, appeared on stages (virtual and in person), and facilitated workshops for companies across the country.

When she’s not showing her clients how to turn the most painful moment of their lives into the most empowered moment in their lives, you can find her spending quality time with her two teen boys in Los Angeles, California. Her forthcoming book, I Do, I Did, I’m Done, is due out June 22nd, 2022.

 

Website: www.wendysterling.net

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/divorcerehabwithwendy

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-sterling-cpcc-acs-cds-and-advanced-thetahealer-34b1b95/ 

Tik Tok: @divorcerehabwithwendy