SLP 205: We are Designed to Experience Crisis as a Dedicated Pivot-Point in Life with Shan Clayton

‘I feel like crisis is built into our DNA. I look around at all the people I have ever had a conversation with and I just… while yes, we all have a unique upbringing, unique nurturing, unique nature, we are designed to experience crisis as a dedicated pivot-point in life. We can gain so much from it. I feel like it’s a hard-wired thing. I feel like we are meant to experience it.’ Shan Clayton

We all know that the desire to learn and work on oneself can come from a place of pain and crisis. What we may not know is how or when that will strike. Shan Clayton hit rock bottom at the age of 33. She knew no one would come and save her and quickly recognised she was the one who had to make a change and take control and responsibility for herself.

To the outside word she was fully polished and rockin it. She realises now it took her twenty years to get to the bottom of the pit and 10 years to crawl back out of it. She believes it is all a process. Looking back she felt like she was wearing a blind fold. She knew she needed to stop fighting herself and lean into it. It was the stopping that gave her the space to decide what to do. The perfectionist within had to give int to this.

As humans we go for the quick fix but that does not always serve us long term. Shan believes most people are terrified of the monster that lurks in the shadows. But if we just realised we can shine a light within and realise it is not that bad at all.

We talk about the ‘parts party’ analogy where we get to discover and observe all the different parts which comes from the internal family systems. Shan loves people to just explore all parts of you and appreciate they all play a role and find the humour in it all.

There are many tips and wonderful ideas in this interview that will support you to discover more of the real you.

Shan Clayton is a highly skilled therapist and mindset coach who specialises in supporting clients who are motivated to overcome the emotional root causes of persistent stress, anxiety, and depression, and learn to express themselves fully, develop self-acceptance and self-love, and start living with enthusiasm and drive once again.

She holds qualifications in Counselling, Mindfulness Therapies, NLP Coaching, Tine Line Therapy and Advanced Hypnosis and has a wealth of life experience to draw from, including working in higher education, project management and hospitality.

She is the driving force behind THINK Coaching & Hypnotherapy, an online hub for behavioural transformation, which she operates alongside her lifelong friend and colleague, Leanne Davis.

Together, they offer quality transformation programs for individuals and couples as well as their fortnightly THINK Night In, an evening group learning and coaching space offered free of charge to anyone wishing to put their toe in the water.

Shan is a passionate mental health and wellbeing advocate who believes personal growth and transformation are possible even in the face of low self-worth, uncertainty, procrastination, and self-sabotaging habits.

She has overcome many challenges, including chronic depression, generalised anxiety disorder and alcohol and drug misuse. She knows well the journey involved in conquering fears and converting inner demons to inner strengths.

The key to living well, Shan says, is to give ourselves permission to express all that we are, even the less dazzling parts of ourselves, for no-one else’s sake but our own, because it’s through the fullest expression of who we are that we resolve any need to suppress, which is what leads to emotional and mental upset in the first place.

Her definition of Self Love is to accept ALL of me, and I mean ALL of me. It is about loving and nurturing and allowing space for the expression for ALL the parts of who I am. To love oneself is to let yourself have that space.

Her favourite quote is from Cirque du Soleil:

‘We rise by lifting each other.’

Links to follow:
THINK Coaching & Hypnotherapy
www.thinkcoaching.online
To book a free call:  https://www.thinkcoaching.online/bookings
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thinkcoachingandhypno
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shan.think.coaching/

Quotes:
I feel like crisis is built into our DNA
The moment we attempt to change anyone else is the moment we have gone too far
Teach don’t preach
It is important to sit with your whole self
Give each part of you the time they deserve
Navigating the darkness of the waters with the sunshine on top
Accept that we are born with a buffet
We supress or express constantly
Be radical in life
It is all a process of learning
Accept there is always a process of grieving
Fill the gaps in our life with more of what we do want
There is no destination it is all a process
There is no clear-cut pathway
What do I need most right now?
Self-management is everything
I love to go to nothing-town
Ask yourself as you always have the answers within
It is a process of go by feel
The greatest tool is time-line therapy
Do we dare to take a leap and reach out?
Be real

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