SLP 192: Self Love Quicky – Learning to Respond Not React

In these turbulent times, many have been conditioned to react immediately. Whilst reacting is not necessarily a bad thing per se, it isn’t always constructive. It can often add to the noise, cause confusion and further angst and hurt. A more effective approach is learning to respond with awareness. And there is a big difference. In this Quicky we also learn how essential oils can support our ability to respond with more intelligence!

Words act as a powerful lens through which we perceive, interpret, and analyse the world. We use words to label and define our people, things, places and experiences. We use words to describe what we think, what we feel, the actions we take, and the interactions we have with others. You might think it is semantics but knowing the difference between a reaction and a response will be a powerful tool in your self-care toolkit.

When we react, many times it is instinctive. We can often react in opposition to a particular situation or person. When we see or hear something we disagree with, our immediate response is to react or act out. Generally, we are reacting. That reaction may not always be favourable, depending on how you feel. Responding, whilst technically a reaction takes into consideration and thought to the desired outcome of the interaction. A reaction may result in a positive or negative outcome – you have no control over it. Whereas a response is engineered to produce a positive or negative outcome thus you have some form of control over what happens.

Reacting is emotional, responding is emotional intelligence.

What happens when we react:

When we react, we engage the body before the brain
Reacting is reactive, impulsive and a reflex action
Reacting often arises from a state of pain, frustration, anger or fear
Reacting is making assumptions, jumping to conclusions
When we react, we are giving away our power and self-control.
When we react, we are being short-sighted and letting our egos get in the way
Reacting is about being problem-oriented

Have you ever reacted to something and later thought ‘oh I should’ve said this and that”? Or even thought, “oh I shouldn’t have said that”? This was you in reaction mode. Nothing wrong wth that, you did the best you could. Now is the time to learn to do better. And we can all learn to do better, a good place to start is by learning to respond rather than react.

If your goal is to get a quick dopamine hit and feel good for reacting, then great, keep doing that. However, we want to be better people. We want to show empathy and understanding of others in this world. Choosing to respond will allow you time to gather facts and supporting information to help you influence others more positively.

There are times when you need to react and react fast. Think in times of danger for yourself or others.

What happens when we Respond:

When we respond, we engage the brain before the body.
When we respond, we are being informed and educated
Responding is putting the ego aside
When we respond, we are in control of ourselves
Responding is about calm and clear communication
Responding is about choosing to see things from all perspectives
Love, respect and empathy are at the heart of responding
Responding is about being solution-oriented

Our essential oils can help you find the support you need to respond. You can call upon Basil to have the mental strength to continue. You can call upon Tea Tree to draw energy by focusing on the positive. Call upon Myrrh to connect to your intuition as it is empowering, and that guidance with grace and ease. Pine will leave you feeling inspired, invigorated, alert and ready for anything. I could, in fact, go through every oil and talk about the metaphysical and emotional guidance it can give you. Suffice to say, use the emotional side of essential oils to support you as you grow, develop skills and learn to respond from a place of love and understanding.

Learning how to respond has been a game-changer for myself and many of my clients. The people in my Self Love and Mentoring group have learned many tools and techniques to help them on their self-love journey, but also new ways to respond to the world in a peaceful and loving way. Remember, a reaction is about the moment whereas a response is about the outcome. Understanding how to respond as opposed to reacting will make you a more empathetic and self-aware person. If you want to influence your team, your family, and your children, the best way to do that is by changing yourself, and learning how you can respond more appropriately when turbulent situations arise.

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