SLP 62: Self Love Quicky – Your Relationship With You

As Easter, a time of rebirthing, is upon us, take some time to really think about your relationship with YOU. Use this special time to honour how you treat yourself and then notice how it affects how you treat others. Be mindful that life is not happening TO you but, for you, AS you. In this week’s Self Love Quicky we take a peek into how your relationship with yourself and how it is the most important one you will have in your life. Happy Easter lovely.

“I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquillity comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of wellbeing. Cultivating a close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It is the ultimate source of success in life.”  The Dalai Lama

Relationships can be the most amazing and satisfying things in life, but they are also a mystery. There are people out there you instantly ‘click’ with, people with whom you feel as though you have been best friends for life. There are others with whom you share an incredible attraction, a magnetism that is almost unexplainable. Yet there are some who can rub you up the wrong way – sometimes before they even speak!

Some believe this has to do with our internal ‘wiring’ – we are destined to meet certain people and programmed to find the ‘right’ ones for us. Others feel a lot has to do with our personality types or astrological stars. Whatever the reasons, relationships with all sorts of different people can be the most rewarding – and the most heartbreaking – aspects of life.

Your relationships with others, your partner, children, family, work colleagues and friends are all an extension of the relationship with yourself. These relationships are a fulfilling and rewarding part of your life. But relationships don’t just happen; good healthy relationships require time and energy from both sides. Learning to accept other people’s differences and taking responsibility for your own actions and feelings is essential. When we look at life through different eyes, have an acceptance of each other’s viewpoint and a willingness to communicate positive and negative feelings, this can open the door for our relationships to flourish.

If you can’t see the bright side, polish the dull side!

One of the most important relationships you will encounter is the one you have with yourself. Learning to be your own best friend is the key to happiness. It starts with learning to take responsibility for your own life, how you respond to circumstances and how you react to things that come your way. How much you respect yourself, love yourself and how much you take time to nurture this special relationship.

Unfortunately, a lot of people find it easier to blame something or someone else if things in their own life are not going right. It is important to cultivate a positive attitude, resist being a victim of circumstance and realise that even though things can be difficult, you have choices. When you understand that you have a choice every day in how you react to life’s circumstances, you realise YOU actually have the power, you hold the key to your own happiness, growth and learning.

Being your own best friend means being truthful with yourself, acknowledging all that you are: your feelings, your intelligence, your intuition, your whole self. It is about being gentle and caring for yourself. This is not being self-centred, this is loving yourself. We have heard many times that if you can’t learn to truly care for yourself, how can you unconditionally care for others? Like the Bible says, ‘Love thy neighbour as thyself’. It does not say ‘instead of yourself’ or ‘better than yourself’, because true love comes from the love you draw from within yourself. Anything else is adoration or longing.

Remember we all have that inner critic that can bring us down if we let it. Rather than agreeing with it or fighting it, be gentle and encourage yourself to overcome whatever it says. We have the power to control whether we agree or disagree with it. Remind yourself it is ok to feel vulnerable at times, even if you feel like a young child who is unsure or even scared. This is normal. Being an adult isn’t a door you automatically pass through, it is a journey, one of continually learning and growing, and it never stops.

It is from the ages of 0-7 that our imprinting occurs. We then start to create more meaning. Incidences can occur that we make mean things that could absolutely not be true, but for some reason, at that moment they are the truth and can become a truth for many years to come. They then become a belief.

We have to remember that we have a choice every single day to get to know ourselves more. To forgive and be kind. We have a choice to be accountable, responsible and take ownership for the way we respond to what happens in our world or we can go below the line and blame, be in denial or make excuses.

The greatest gift we can give humanity is the best version of ourselves. That takes work and a constant showing up.

Over this holiday break of Easter, a time of rebirthing, maybe give yourself the time to rebirth you, get to know you. Notice if people trigger you, notice why they trigger you and maybe be aware that if people are not being their best selves maybe they are going through something too.

We may not be able to control the things that are happening in the world, especially with lock-downs and the up and down nature of things right now, but we can control the way we respond to it.

Life is not happening to us but rather for us, through us… as us.

Wishing you a very beautiful and Happy Easter and thankyou from the bottom of my heart for being a part of this Self Love Club.

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