Balenciaga: Satanic Sex Purses

What are satanic sex purses and how much do they cost you ask?  Well Balenciaga, the fashion house, decided to turn some teddy bears into purses and dress the bears in S&M gear, mostly leather harnesses and chaps because teddy bears aren't hard core into S&M (this is a science fact that everyone knows). Then they had some little kids stand on some beds and hold the purses.  People freaked over the sexual implications and suddenly Balenciaga turned from a fashion house into a devil worshiping sex cult that advertised its existence to the world through an advertising campaign.  To be clear, the campaign wasn't "hey we are here to worship the devil and have sex with toddlers." No.  It was more subtle.  It was children standing on beds holding teddy-bear purses and the teddy bears had button eyes and leather harnesses - all dressed up for the teddy bear S&M ball.

That's bad enough, and also dumb, but by this point the internet was on fire to examine every Balenciaga campaign ever and boy did they find things.  Clues were everywhere that led to a secret cabal of devil worshipping Hollywood types and politicians who are after children.   It turns out that the key to understanding the big picture was the S&M teddy-bear purses.

Balenciaga learned the hard way that you can't outrun stupidity, either your own or other people's, so they did what every great fashion house does when they expose their secret devil worshipping lust for young blood, they issued an apology and we're here to review the stupidity and the apology.