What is the difference between giving someone feedback, calling them out and scolding them?

Catherine Navarro opened with a great point – it can only be feedback if you asked if someone wants feedback and got their consent before giving it to them. Unsolicited feedback fits better into the category of calling someone out.

 

Elissa Hecker added that scolding is never appropriate between adults. Scolding someone is meant to demean or embarrass someone. It is never meant to be helpful or useful.

 

(I did not add it during the conversation but I don’t think scolding is particularly useful with children either.)

 

Jim Tam agreed that feedback (should) be about making someone better, helping them. Scolding is reactionary. “Nobody scolds you in a positive.”

 

Later in the conversation he added that scolding comes from a place of hierarchy. You can only scold downward. But feedback can be done peer to peer or even to someone above you.

 

And Catherine shared some words we can use to say no when someone asks if they can give you feedback:

• I'm not open for feedback right now.
• No, I'm in a really tender place around this.
• I'm not available for it actually.
• No, I'm really running out of time and I have to go do X Y or Z.
• I'm not open for that right now.
• Oh, we can talk about it another time when I'm on the other side of this.

 

Did we cover all the differences between feedback, calling someone out and scolding? What do you think separates these three types of communication? 

 

Connect with the panelists:

Catherine Navarro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachcatherinen/

She helps women get what they want in the boardroom and the bedroom.

 

Elissa D. Hecker: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-d-hecker-48467711/

She is the Go-To General Counsel, Collaborative Partner, and Creative Problem Solver, for businesses and the Entertainment and Arts industries

 

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#feedback #scold