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FULFILLMENT THERAPY - Marriage & Family Therapy, Self Mastery, Self Actualization, Unmet Needs, LDS Parent, Family Connection

FULFILLMENT THERAPY - Marriage & Family Therapy, Self Mastery, Self Actualization, Unmet Needs, LDS Parent, Family Connection

Education:Self-Improvement

15 | Learn to Stop “Shoulding” on Yourself and Others & Start Exercising More Self-Compassion

15 | Learn to Stop “Shoulding” on Yourself and Others & Start Exercising More Self-Compassion

2023-06-08
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Have you noticed that you often seem to be saying “I should” or “I shouldn’t” or maybe you say this to others and you wonder what it’s all about? Maybe you wish you had more self compassion and greater compassion for loved ones. Do you just want simple tools to help you decrease shame in your life? If so, keep listening. 

Today we’ll talk about all of these things using simple, therapeutic steps that will help decrease shame in your life and increase self-compassion and self-worth for yourself and your loved one. Listen in to discover the tricks.

Enjoy and best of luck applying the steps!

-Kendra

 

ALL LINKS → https://linktr.ee/fulfillmenttherapy 

Website → https://fulfillmenttherapy.org

Contact → hello@fulfillmenttherapy.org

Instagram → @fulfillmenttherapy 

Facebook Community → http://bit.ly/fulfillmenttherapy 

Facebook Group → Private FB Group 

Schedule 1:1 Coaching → https://fulfillmenttherapy.org/1-on-1-coaching 

Chat → 1-986-910-5172 *text questions & topic requests

 

If you're ready for accelerated transformation, I'm launching Igniting Life on August 20th. This is a 12 week mental health and wellness reset for individuals who are ready for change in clear, step-by-step ways with necessary weekly accountability. If you’re ready to ignite your life and really start loving life again, this is the course for you. I guarantee that the investment you make will be returned tenfold with tried and true therapeutic techniques, strategies, and tools from an invested, trustworthy source. Your compound growth is waiting for you to make a commitment. It’s like I would tell my personal training clients: every dollar you spend on self growth is mathematically proven to save you in future mental and physical health costs. So truly, sign up now or you’ll pay for it many times over in the future, but without the joyful benefits. You truly won’t regret investing in my mental health and wellness. I never have–even when some courses were less beneficial because they showed me what else I needed. And since I’ve taken so many, I’ll go above and beyond. Guaranteed. 

 

“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” -Brene Brown

You can use NOPER (notice, own, plan, execute, and repeat) or the Emotion Processing Model (NPEC-notice, pause, explore, and clarify). 

Dr. Carly Lebaron teaches that we can explore our rules behind our shoulds. She gave examples like how the rule behind “I should always be happy” is the rule that you’re not allowed to have feelings or “I should spend more time with my kids” is the rule that I need to be a perfect parent and I need to always entertain my kids. 

 

Is This Why You're Depressed? Stop Should-ing on Yourself

 

“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” -Brene Brown

 

“[Shoulding] is based on an overly rigid rule inside your head that you aren’t able to live up to. Shoulds generate a lot of shame. This way of talking to ourselves is like having a little shoulder angel constantly finding fault and criticizing you. But shoulds aren’t that helpful in actually creating change. They mostly just make us feel miserable and discouraged.” -Emma McAdam

 

“When we leave piles of should everywhere in our lives, it’s easy to become discouraged, overwhelmed, and feel like a shouldy person. Should-ing is a bad habit that sends a message to your brain that you’ll never be good enough.” -Emma McAdam

 

Albert Ellis, the famous American psychologist, said, “Stop shoulding on yourself.” 

 

Karen Horney was a German psychoanalyst that noticed a pattern in depressed and anxious people. She noticed that they always say, “I should.”

view more

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