Born Into Crisis

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, May 24th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat.

Today’s guest is Reverend Kenneth Nixon Jr., Author of the book Born Into Crisis: A Memoir.

For more information about Rev. Kenneth Nixon Jr.'s work, visit Author Rev. Kenneth Nixon.

Lorilee Binstock  00:03:22 
Welcome.
I'm Lorilee Binstock, and this is A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast.
Thank you so much for joining me live on Fireside Chat, where you can be a part of the conversation
as my virtual audience.
I'm Lorilee Binstock, your host. Everyone has an opportunity to ask me or our guest questions by requesting to hop on stage or sending a message in the chat box. I will try to get you, but I do ask that everyone be respectful.
Our guest today is reverend, Kenneth,Nixon junior.
He is the author of Born into Crisis, a memoir about his experience growing up with a mentally ill mother. Kenneth, thank you so much for joining me today.

Kenneth Nixon  00:04:27 
Thank you for having me. How are you doing today?

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:30 
I'm doing great. Thank you. How about yourself?

Kenneth Nixon  00:04:33 
Pretty good. Pretty good. You know, you you challenged me because I don't have an Apple device, so I had to go out and buy one for the first time.

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:41 
Stop. Did you really
oh my goodness. What do you think of it?

Kenneth Nixon  00:04:44 
Yes.
I have a lot of learning to do.

Lorilee Binstock  00:04:51 
Oh my goodness. Well, I'm so grateful
for you. I mean,
maybe you could return I don't know if if you're like, oh, this is you know, you get so used to one thing
after a while, but I do appreciate
your your
willingness to come on the show
because you have a lot to say, and I wanna hear all about it. Your book brought into crisis, wow.
Incredibly.
So I I want you to be able to,
you know, for our guests who haven't read the book,
can you talk a little bit about your childhood?

Kenneth Nixon  00:05:26 
Yes.
So
my childhood,
if we start right at the title of the book, right, born into crisis,
It
when I was born, my mother who suffered from severe
mental illness,
all of her
her life,
I was literally born into crisis from the standpoint. She was in the middle of
Psychosis
at the moment of my birth,
in which
while I was lying on the floor,
I was suffering from withdrawals from a medication called thorazine,
which is anti psychotic medication that she used to treat those who
then suffer from
paranoid schizophrenia
or other manic depressive disorders.
The stuff of that nature. And it was only
by grace that my father who was getting off of work, out there in time to get me in the hospital. So I quite literally was born into crisis.
But that is the beginning stage of a life and a childhood
in which I had to deal with
trauma,
PTSD,
anxiety, and various things of growing up with a mother with severe mental illness.

Lorilee Binstock  00:06:44 
You know, that's really tough. You know, you you talk about, you know, postpartum
psychosis. I mean, I I it sounds like she she's dealt with these issues. But, you know, after, you know,
childbirth,
post farm psychosis is very real.
And and it's it's so such a you know, it's such an issue that people are like, yeah. It doesn't really affect that many people. It affects enough people. I feel like for for someone to raise awareness about it. You know? It's it it is very much a problem. You hear all these stories about these mothers.

Kenneth Nixon  00:07:02 
Yes.

Lorilee Binstock  00:07:15 
Who murdered their children or who've attempted to murder their children.

Kenneth Nixon  00:07:17 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:07:19 
And, you know,
this is this is a problem. Right? So I'm curious for you, you know,
for someone who's dealt with so much trauma, especially at an early age, how were you able to get out of that? How are you able to break these generational
cycles of of trauma?

Kenneth Nixon  00:07:42 
Yeah. So what I wanna do first,
you hit
a good point that I wanted to emphasize
about not only prenatal care, but postnatal care.

Lorilee Binstock  00:07:55 
Mhmm.

Kenneth Nixon  00:07:55 
My mother because I have older siblings,
she suffered a severe bout of postpartum depression with my oldest brother,
Kevin,
in the seventies. And that
was not she did not have effective prenatal care and postnatal care,
and that can lead to
devastating consequences as well in terms of impacts to mental health if there's not effective care for from others, both pre and post.
And particularly in the sixties and seventies,
it it was really lacking for women of color.
It's improved, but there's still gaps in it. But prenatal and postnatal care is critical too
for for mothers to have, but
breaking generational cycles. I think it's
it's always a work in progress.
For me, it
began with this deep sense of curiosity
as I was growing up to try
to understand
how
my life could
turn out
in such a way. Right? Is those
stages
of
emotions that you go through from anger to to grief, to
resentment, to bitterness,
to sadness,
and really understanding
not only the systems and the environment that that I grew up in,
but understanding
what was within my control
to begin to shift the paradigm, not only in my life, but to also make sure that I don't carry some of those things
into my household as I'm raising my children.
And I took that personally because
I had a a deep sense that
I wanted to do things differently from my children
so they can have a healthier path
to to life than I did.

Lorilee Binstock  00:09:57 
Yes. At
you know, for me, you know, I'm a childhood sexual abuse survivor.
You know, I realized my my father
was also sexually abused as a child. I didn't know that until I was much older.
For me, it was really hard. Even though I it's like, I knew You know, I they also had very erratic behaviors,
very
just very difficult to be around.
And, you know, the yay, yelling,
a lot of just
erratic behavior behaviors.
And, you know, even though I'm like, I don't wanna be I don't wanna be anything like my parents. You know, there are times where I'd get overwhelmed, and I'd get
you know, there's just moments with my kids that I was just yelling. And this was before I I got went to residential treatment. I
and I was very fortunate that I was able to do that. But before that, you know, I didn't realize. Like, I'm like, oh my god. My children are just behaving this way because
And it it it took a long time for me to say, oh my goodness. I'm I'm behaving
the way my parents were behaving. And now my children are going to pick up on this.
What was it for you where you were like,
things need to change, or was this before children?
And did you have a support system? Because I feel like that's extremely important too.

Kenneth Nixon  00:11:21 
Mhmm.
So I I would say it's some of both.
In terms of a support system, I I would say I didn't have a big,
strong support system. But what I did have
was my my grandmother,
She passed away in two thousand and six,
and my father
But central to for me was my faith.

Lorilee Binstock  00:11:50 
Mhmm.

Kenneth Nixon  00:11:52 
And I'm only speaking for myself, but it was one of those things that
I can fully lean on
and trust to help me not only
center myself,
find the sense of peace,
but it was something that was dependable
and that was consistent in my life.
That allow me to have
a sense of
fulfillment.
But
as I got older
and, particularly, into adulthood,
I began focusing on
how do I
help others
not deal with the same
situations
that I was doing, but also how do I do the things in terms of self care therapy?
That I don't carry some of my traumas or inherited traumas
into a household
where I'm raising my sons.
And I will give a good example
in terms of that. Like, I grew up
where
family wasn't very loving. There were there weren't those affirmations
of
of I love you. I don't even think I remember my father ever saying that or people around me there. There weren't hugs or being tucked in at night, and

Lorilee Binstock  00:13:14 
Mhmm.

Kenneth Nixon  00:13:19 
things of of that nature that seem normal to me, but they weren't they're aren't normal
because humans thrive off of connection and
being connected with one another.
And it's really
focusing on the small things to make sure

Lorilee Binstock  00:13:34 
Right.

Kenneth Nixon  00:13:36 
that my children understand that they are loved, that I I tell them that they had loved them, that I talked them in at night, that I hugged them, that they actually see me crying.
And one of the the things that I wanted my sons to understand is that it's okay for boys who will eventually become men to cry. Because crying is one of the ways in which your body releases
anxiety. It releases stress or releases

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:01 
Mhmm.

Kenneth Nixon  00:14:03 
some of the things that if you bottle up, it can turn into
physical health challenges.
So I wanted to create an environment in which I was acting out on my self interest of creating a more fair and equitable society, particularly around mental
health. But I was also living that out in a way. I was raising my children so they can grow up in a healthy environment as much as possible.
I still have
things that I I have to work on because it's a continuous work.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:34 
Mhmm.

Kenneth Nixon  00:14:35 
But as much as possible, I'm very conscious of it. And I try to create an environment that is a hundred and eighty degrees different than the one I grew up in.

Lorilee Binstock  00:14:45 
Yeah. I feel like awareness is everything. When you're conscious
about
your behaviors.
It's it's
so much easier to make changes
versus me before before I actually was aware of my
who what I was doing.
I was just going along thinking why
everyone's doing something wrong.

Kenneth Nixon  00:15:07 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:15:07 
And that was really hard. That was really hard to to really fully be aware of my act my behaviors and how it
affected other people.
And actually be present in a in the moment versus, you know,
for the longest time, probably for twenty years, thirty years, I was disassociating.

Kenneth Nixon  00:15:27 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:15:28 
And so that was that was challenging.
You know, I wanna talk about
discrimination
of mental illness.

Kenneth Nixon  00:15:37 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:15:39 
And it's really interesting. I feel like this has been a whole thing
for the month of May, you know, we're right into in mental health awareness month. And just a few weeks ago,
I actually someone contributed to my magazine. She was not,
I guess, when I promoted her piece,
I had a lot of people reaching out saying, oh, this person's a liar.
She's you know, she she did have a warrant out for her arrest.
And they did say, like, oh, she's she's a she's a compulsive liar.
You can't have her on your show.
You know, I can't believe you let her contribute to this magazine. She's a fraud. I don't believe she even experienced trauma.
And my
my reaction to that was
all of this kind of proved she's experienced some sort of trauma, whether it's a trauma that she says she's experienced.
She still experienced trauma, and I feel like I I I want you to kind of go into discrimination of mental illness.
And and in that.

Kenneth Nixon  00:16:40 
Yeah. Yeah.
In in my book, I
I dedicate a chapter
kind of to the the point you're getting at right now.
And I would count this under a form of cognitive
bias
where
individuals or or or groups of folks
kind of project their own
sense of right and wrong in their own feelings and their own perceptions
on whether or not someone experienced
something or not in into what degree.
And it requires
people to understand
that someone's truth is someone's truth. And it may manifest or look differently

Lorilee Binstock  00:17:20 
Mhmm.

Kenneth Nixon  00:17:23 
than what you may want it to look like
or what society says is normal. But if we start at the basis
of letting everyone share their story,
and how they
feel and how they perceive that they receive trauma
and go at it from
the side of love and deference,
I think we will get to a place where
we begin to allow people to share the same space now.
We do have to be grounded in a sense of of facts and truth
But the way trauma works
is
people have to be comfortable
in the space to be able to share their truth in a way that feels real and natural to them.
And sometimes
people
may not feel comfortable sharing their full truth in a way
that we may all like because they feel they're gonna be attacked
or they're going to be put in a position where
they are overexposed
and
don't wanna be in a position where they're too vulnerable.
So I would encourage people to really look at their own
form of
bias on their worldview, on how they grew up in how they see things and understand
every individual has their own set of experiences.
Have their own set of understandings,
and have their own set of feelings.
And even if that individual
is saying something that you don't necessarily agree with or that you feel is fully forthright,
it is okay
to let that individual
just speak. You don't have to always
point out the flaws
of someone else.
Sometimes just let them speak and move on.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:23 
Yeah. That's you know, that's
easier said than done. Right? I I I agree with you. Right? I'm you know, I've gotten to this point in my healing where

Kenneth Nixon  00:19:27 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:19:32 
I don't need to
you know, provide input on how someone else should live or how they're living or, you know, how
their trauma has affected them and how they should behave.
But it is I feel like when I was reading the comments, and and it was on it was think it was on my pay Facebook page,
and people were just saying all of these different things about this person. And I guess, you know, from from their perspective, I see, okay. There probably there's probably fear there that they could be,

Kenneth Nixon  00:20:03 
Mhmm. Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:04 
you know, scammed by this person.
And I think, you know, and, you know, I wanted to give them some compassion as well, but
it's it's it's so hard for people to

Kenneth Nixon  00:20:15 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:16 
to really
separate themselves
from, you know because there's a good chance that, you know, family members or people that were surrounding them felt like they need to

Kenneth Nixon  00:20:20 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:28 
put their you know, have their input,
and then that's
kind of how we do things. Right?

Kenneth Nixon  00:20:34 
Yeah. And it also could be coming from a place of feeling that they have to protect their own
mental health or the health of others who may

Lorilee Binstock  00:20:41 
Exactly.
Yeah.

Kenneth Nixon  00:20:45 
may come to listen to the content. So it could be a protection mechanism.
I I would say one of the the anecdotes that we need to
utilize more often
is connecting with one another in person. I know technology
is
that's done wonderful things for society

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:04 
Yeah.

Kenneth Nixon  00:21:07 
and globally.
But it's also disconnected
us in a way
that we don't have enough real
conversations
with real people in person
and connect in a way that
allows us to feel and
be surrounded by the spirit of people.
So I think more that needs to happen, but I I truly, truly understand
the sense of wanting to protect ones
own space,
and that could have been something that was being communicated

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:37 
Yeah.

Kenneth Nixon  00:21:40 
through Facebook.

Lorilee Binstock  00:21:43 
You wrote born into crisis,
and
I wanna know what was your intention?
What did you hope to come out of this book.

Kenneth Nixon  00:21:55 
Mhmm. So my hope was to reach
at least one individual.
I I wrote it with
it impacting
one person. If one person could read it and find
their
halved to self discovery,
to healing,
to getting a sense of agency and empowerment
to
act on their self interest, and I would
consider it successful. So the way I wrote it
was one to try to
have people feel that they're having a conversation with me, so I've broken into two parts.
One is my personal story. The second part is the call to action.
And I wanted to be able to allow people some insight into
my personal story, but I also wanted to give people the tools, the walkways
on
what they could potentially do to take those concrete steps to affect
not only changing their local community in their homes as individuals,
but as society as a whole
around this critical issue of mental health.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:11 
Yes. Our our mental health our our health system in America is is
You know, I have I I I have words. But, especially, when it when it when it comes to mental health,

Kenneth Nixon  00:23:21 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:23:25 
it's it's almost
non existent, it feels like. You know, people to get the right care for for a a therapist, especially trauma therapist,
I feel like everything's now out of out of pocket. Insurance isn't covering
a lot of it.
What would you what do you think we needs to be done
to really
revolutionize
our our mental health system health care system because I feel like it is a very daunting task, and a lot of people don't wanna touch it.

Kenneth Nixon  00:23:50 
Mhmm.
Yes.
So the mental first of all, mental health
for those who are listening. Mental health is health. One of the first things we have to do is
decriminalize
mental health. And what do I mean by that
is we have to put in place the community based system
that was always supposed to go in place when we
did a mask the institutionalization
push back
in the sixty seventies and eighties where these massive mental health
institutions
were shuttered in its place supposed to be this community based system
that will holistically
treat individuals
and get them on a path to healing and sustainability
while they stayed in their communities, well, that system never got put in place.
In in that gap, you ended up with a system
in which individuals who are dealing with
mental health, whether it's anxiety
or it's a severe mental illness,
They end up in one of two places,
either in the local emergency room, which
ERs are intended for physical emergencies, not mental health emergencies,
and they end up in e r's not getting immediate treatment
or they end up in local jails.
And the fact
is is that the largest mental health treatment facilities
in this country today
still on local jails.
Think about that for a second. The largest mental health treatment facility
in the United States right now are local jails.
We need to shift that dynamic to a more humane form of treatment
that keeps people in their community that does not criminalize
mental illness,
but gives people their best shot at having happy thriving lives.

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:01 
So would that be all community
organizations
that what what would we be able to put in place? What is

Kenneth Nixon  00:26:10 
Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock  00:26:11 
what would

Kenneth Nixon  00:26:11 
So some of the work that
I am going through the organization.
I'm affiliated with Voice, which stands for Virginians, organized for
interfaith community engagement.
There's a three pronged stool to this process.
Some place to call
some place to go,
and
the the treatment and the services that wrap around the individual
that is getting treatment.
So one of the key pieces
that was put in place
that needs to be put in place
nationally.
And is the advent of the nine eight eight hotline number?
Which allows individuals
who
or their loved ones who are about to go into a mental health episode or in the middle of it. To have an alternative
to nine eleven,
to call nine eight eight and be connected to someone that they can talk to
that can help determine on what level
of illness that they own and what type of treatment do they need, whether it's just to speak with someone or that they actually need to speak to a clinical professional.
So that's that's the first piece. Really,
implementing and socializing
of the nine eight eight hotline number
for individuals to utilize.
The second piece is the infrastructure.
So in Virginia,
we're working really hard, and we've had some successes
in getting
funding to build out what are called
crisis receiving centers.
These are brick and mortar facilities that have two components.
One is a
a a twenty three hour
piece where individuals
in the community
Law enforcement can do drop offs instead of taking people to local jails.
People can just walk in
where someone is experiencing
anxiety
or they they feel that they need to talk to someone, and they can walk right off the street in
Speak get immediate treatment and speak with a professional, and they may need two hours. They may need four.
But they may need up to twenty three hours. The whole goal
is to make mental health services as accessible
as possible.
The second component to that crisis receiving center
is called
a short stay, a crisis stabilization
unit.
This is for individuals, whether they come through
drop off from
law enforcement
or family member or they walk in themselves
if it's determined that they need more in
intensive
in patient treatment for a short stay.
There's another component for a three to five day short stay for that individual
to get intensive inpatient treatment.
But when they depart, they don't just depart.
Without any tools or any resources they depart with wraparound services
that allows them to access continuous ongoing
care and treatment.
So in Virginia,
we
have a victory in which on Prince William County in Virginia, which is in Northern Virginia,
has done the groundbreaking
and should have a full crisis receiving center online by spring of next year. I know in Loudoun County where
That's also in Northern Virginia where they've
their local government has approved the funding to build their own
full crisis receiving center. And in Fairfax County, the most populous
jurisdiction in Virginia,
They're going to be putting up funding to finish out a full crisis receiving center as well.
So one of the things we need to do
is to make sure that not only are we breaking down the stigma, but we're
coming together to create what I call co collective power
to compel our local governments to begin building out that community based mental health system that was promised
to us over forty years ago.

Lorilee Binstock  00:30:27 
Well, this is amazing. This is in Virginia.
What about countrywide?
Is this is do they do each individual state? Does does do they have

Kenneth Nixon  00:30:33 
Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock  00:30:38 
similar goals to create this type of space.

Kenneth Nixon  00:30:42 
Yeah. So I can speak so the model that
Virginia's following is based off of the federal
government's guidelines
in under the guise of a a crisis now model, which was pioneered
in Arizona.
Which we're trying to build our system based off of that crisis now model. So there are pockets in the country in Arizona.
I know there is
a facility in San Antonio, Texas.
There's also a facility
in Ohio,
and there's a good robust program in Florida, I believe.
So there are pockets where this is
taking hold and taking shape
in the country,
but it is not uniform throughout the country. And if we're going to get at true systematic
transformation,
we have to make a commitment
at the state level and the local level
across the country
to really commit
to
destigmatizing
and decriminalizing
mental health, and that is making a commitment
to the crisis now model of care.
Which will help us build out nationwide a community based
system of treatment.
So we get people to treatment and not incarceration.
So to answer your question, and it is in other pockets of the country, but there is no uniformity
across the country to implement this model.

Lorilee Binstock  00:32:13 
Got it.
Do you believe that law enforcement
is equipped
to handle
people who
are dealing with mental health crisis.

Kenneth Nixon  00:32:24 
Yes.
And no. I say yes from the standpoint
if if
law enforcement agencies,
and I know in Virginia,
a lot of our law enforcement agents who send
a lot of their police officers through crisis intervention training,
CIT.
And there's different levels of CIT training
from the introductory level all the way up to more advanced methods
to equip law enforcement to be able to identify
when they're dealing with the individual who's in a mental or in the middle of a mental health crisis.
But writ large,
law enforcement is not equipped
to deal with those who are in the middle of the mental health crisis,
and it can lead
to often tragic outcomes
when you're putting law enforcement in a position where they have to make snap decisions.

Lorilee Binstock  00:33:28 
Mhmm.

Kenneth Nixon  00:33:29 
And I can tell you
each law enforcement officer or agency that
I've encountered in Virginia
will
will be the first to stand up and say they are four.
Putting these prices receiving centers in place because they do not want to be involved in these type
situations.
They understand completely
that people who are in a mental health crisis need to see mental health professionals.
So
And and quite frankly, you're talking about law enforcement officers who have
who are veterans, who have been in wars who have their own traumas,
and we're oftentimes

Lorilee Binstock  00:34:09 
Mhmm.

Kenneth Nixon  00:34:11 
singing veterans
sometimes
into situations where we can potentially
trigger their mental health.
So it's incumbent upon us to
work with law enforcement
as well as like we are going in Virginia
to put in place a system that alleviates this unfunded mandate on law enforcement.

Lorilee Binstock  00:34:33 
Well, I I'm
thank you so much for all of the information that you've provided in everything that you're doing. You've taken your story.
And found purpose
and really are pushing for action and advocacy and and and health care and focused on mental health, and
it's so admirable. And I
thank you so much for all that you do.
Is there anything that you would like to add?

Kenneth Nixon  00:35:04 
Well, I would like to
leave your audience
and everyone with is that
none of us
controls
how we came into this world of the beginning.
But we do have a saying the conclusion.
And whatever way feels
comfortable for you, whatever way that you feel led or inspired,
if we're
going to get at truly shifting the paradigm on mental health.
It requires all of us, not just those who are directly impacted
but those who have loved ones who are impacted, those who know of someone who are impacted.
We are in mental health awareness month.
But when mental health awareness not ends at the beginning of June,
those same challenges are still there.
Those causes are still there.
The people that need
our support and our encouragement and our effort
to get them on a path of humane treatment is gonna still be there. And
however you feel red,
whether it's researching, whether it is direct action to to get the funding
or holding seminars to break down stigma.
We all owe it to future generations
to do something about it now.

Lorilee Binstock  00:36:31 
Thank you very well, said. I appreciate you again for coming on.
And and sharing your story and
your input and and to
the crisis that we are all living in right now.
So thank you so much.

Kenneth Nixon  00:36:45 
And thank you again, and I appreciate the work and the advocacy that you're
you're doing,
and
and I also appreciate the personality
that you put into it that
I've I've looked at your social media some as preparing for this, and it
that by itself can be an encouraging
method to help someone
find their way to not only dealing with their own
personal challenges,
but having a sense, hey. I can have a voice
too in a way that's comfortable to me. So thank you for your work as well.

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:24 
Thank you. That That means a lot. That means a lot. You know, I
wanna do what I can, you know,
find my purpose. Right?
Well, thank you again.

Kenneth Nixon  00:37:34 
Question.

Lorilee Binstock  00:37:36 
That was Reverend Kenneth Nixon, Jr. Author of the memoir, born into crisis. For more information on Kenneth and his book, Click on that scrolling fortune cookie right there on your screen.
Also, May's issue of authentic insider is out Kenneth so graciously
contributed to May's issue.
Check out authentic insider at trauma survivor thriver dot com. That's trauma survivor thriver dot com if you haven't already, please subscribe to my email list to get authentic insider magazine in your inbox monthly.
We are taking a break next week, but we will be back in June for our last two episodes of season four. That'll be my hundredth episode. So
I hope you join us. Join me live when I speak with Jessica Lee DePatie, filmmaker of the documentary Dark Knight of our Soul, about post traumatic growth.
You've been listening to A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast on Fireside.
I'm Lorilee Binstock. Again, thank you for being a part of the conversation.
Take care.