Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

It’s THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! Get out that eggnog, stoke the fire, put on that cozy sweater because we’re all going to watch a movie that will bring the whole family together. Of course we’re talking about the 1999 Stanley Kubrick Christmas Classic “EYES WIDE SHUT” starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. This “erotic” thriller didn’t really chub us out. Beautiful but cold. A jealous cold. Stanley Kubrick passed away just a few days after screening it which lends a little bit of mystery to this strange movie. It also features the tamest illuminati orgy you’ve ever seen. Like, seriously, if they just let Dr. Bill go and he went to the police, what would he say? “A bunch of men in masks and cloaks were having consensual sex with women in masks”? There would have been nothing they could do. Were any visible laws even broken? They didn’t need to kill that lady at all. The man who invented the moon landing couldn’t go harder than this? You know these sick fucks are doing shit that you truly wouldn’t want to watch. But they did kill a girl. Maybe. I think the illuminati got ahold of Angela, actually. She seems to downplay their capabilities in this episode. Did they get to her? Is she one of them? What the hell is going on here? Is this entire YouTube/Podcast channel some kind of cover for dark elitist rituals??? Who am I? Who are you? Do you think that sailor is cute? Merry Christmas.

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