EP06: Be Present - Avoiding the Verbal Gaffe

In crucial conversations, we often become our own worst critics, caught between the voice that speaks out loud and another that judges us internally. This internal conflict can derail us in how we communicate. However, effective strategies exist to manage it. Emmy-winning broadcast journalist and communication thought leader Karin Reed highlights the critical role of being fully present during communication, especially in high-stakes situations. She discusses the complexities of internal and external distractions that can lead to what she calls “brain cramps.”

 

Citing Rick Perry's unforgettable debate lapse and Michael Bay's stage mishap at CES as examples, Karin explains how an overpowering inner critic can disrupt our flow of thoughts.  A solution to this is a twofold approach: thorough preparation and the clever use of “presentation helpers” to maintain focus. Beyond the mechanics of speech, she advocates for the power of active listening. She introduces listeners to author Robert Bolton's concept of listening skills clusters–a method that enhances our engagement with the speaker and solidifies our presence, turning communication into a bridge rather than a barrier.

 

Listeners are invited to participate in a challenge Karin calls “Be Present Bingo,” a fun and meaningful exercise aimed to help you improve your ability to stay present, available for download here.

 

If you're looking to elevate your communication skills, tune in to this episode of Speaker Dynamics: Own The Room that offers actionable strategies to help you practice active listening and to stay present in every interaction.

 

Quotes

• "We start judging everything that we are saying and doing in ways that may not even be apparent to our audience, but it could put us potentially at risk for a brain cramp. So a brain cramp is where you forget your train of thought, you forget something that you can't imagine ever forgetting. And it's because we have these two voices in our heads, and we're in a high-stakes situation, and we want to do well." (02:04 | Karin Reed) 
• "Force yourself to stay in the moment, because if you start dividing your attention between what you think might be happening and what is happening in the moment, then you really are at risk of not doing a great job in how you're communicating, how you're presenting, how you're performing." (05:59 | Karin Reed) 
• "Not being present for the entire question being asked can be a problem. Because first, you may not answer the actual question. Maybe your answer is the one that relates to the first half of the question, but doesn't relate to the second half of the question. Or you may miss out on uncovering a potential issue that was suggested in the second half of the question that you didn't hear because you were too busy thinking about how you were going to respond to the first half." (12:27 | Karin Reed)
• "One of my favorite things that I like to ask people to do whenever they are hearing a question is to actively listen. And active listening is an intentional skill. That's not something that most of us do innately. We hear things, which is a passive act, but actively listening, I guess passive act doesn't make sense, but we're passively hearing what is being said to us. Active listening is where you're really working to understand the meaning of what is being said, the message that is being said to you." (13:07 | Karin Reed) 
• "Active listening does take work, and it certainly takes intention, but it can make all the difference in your interactions, both personally and professionally. It forces you to stay present and potentially avoid some verbal gaffes.” (19:56 | Karin Reed)

 

Links

Connect with Karin Reed:

Website: www.speakerdynamics.com

Speaker Dynamics University: https://university.speakerdynamics.com/

Speaker Dynamics on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/speakerdynamics/

Karin Reed on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karin-reed/

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