E86: Losing Friends When You Quit Drinking: Here's How to Deal

I would love to waltz in here and tell you all your friendships are going to be even better when you get sober. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Losing friends when you quit drinking is one of those challenges that nearly everyone has to learn to cope with, and it can be a very real struggle. It's painful to lose friendships, or even to watch them change as we move into this new, alcohol free phase of our lives.

We've gathered three fantastic guests to join us on this episode, to share what they've experienced and also what they've learned. Jason (Sober Gangster); Lisa (Hart2Heart Coaching); and our good friend Monica get real about how they're navigating a whole new social experience, sans alcohol. Have a listen - you'll walk away knowing you're not alone, and with some new ideas and perspectives to help you on your own journey of sobriety.

In this episode:

• How your circle shrinks as you get older, and especially in recovery - and how that's a natural process
• Exploring how your standards change as you begin the work of emotional sobriety
• Dealing with surface level, superficial friendships
• Being intentional with where you put your energy
• How to be a real friend
• Navigating friendships with people who aren't sober
• How to find people that are on a similar path
• Surprising fact: losing friends who ARE in your recovery circles is quite common
• Grieving lost friendships
• How to build a core community - no matter how long you've been at this
• Understanding that recovery changes us - and our friends have to learn to work through that, too
• How to use the internet to find people to build connections with

Want to hear more about friendships? Check out this episode from last season!

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At 18, I entered prison. At 19, facing a potential 10+ years for parole violation, a pivotal decision changed my life. In a jail cell on October 12, 1996, at 3 a.m., I swore off mind-altering substances. The 21st encounter with handcuffs pushed me to break free. Living clean and sober for 27 years, I’ve found genuine freedom—earned through work, willingness, and honesty. Sobriety, my most gangster feat, opens doors to a life beyond imagination. – Jason Williams aka Sober Gangster

https://www.instagram.com/sober.gangster

https://www.facebook.com/Sobergangster

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Hi, I’m Monica! I’m 54, reside in southern New Jersey, USA, and I am over 3.5 years sober. On Dec. 31, 2019, I woke up with my last hangover. I was finally done making life harder on myself, hurting my relationships, and slowly killing myself. I’ve learned that sobriety is a never-ending
journey to becoming the person you were meant to be. It’s been incredibly hard, at times, but the gifts that sobriety have given me are much bigger than any hurdles I’ve overcome. I’ve worked to heal from my past, strengthened my relationships with my kids and husband, built a thriving massage practice, and made forever friends in recovery. I wouldn’t trade my sober life for anything.

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My name is Lisa Hart Anderson. I am a sober woman in her 5th decade reinventing her life in this beautiful world of recovery. I am a Certified Recovery Coach where my passion is to help others stay on the sober path and find joy and fun again in this new life of sobriety.
I have been married 33 years, have 3 grown sons, and embracing the empty nester world as I continue to help and encourage others. Throughout my life, I have been an educator, mentor,instructor and coach. It has always been in my heart to teach, guide and inspire with compassion and empathy.
Insta and TikTok- hart2heartcoaching
Website -harttoheart.coach.

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