Prodependence: What Does it Mean? - Part 1

Dr. Rob understands that there might be some confusion over what prodependence is, and sheds some light on how we can better navigate and not stigmatize the people who are just trying to care for their loved one; who so happens to have an addiction problem. We support/feel sorry for the spouse trying to care for their partner’s cancer treatments, but why are they shamed for trying to do the same with mental health or addiction issues? Dr. Rob is tired of seeing spouses blamed for codependency. 

 

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:45] Dr. Rob explains what prodependence is by providing a hypothetical example of his wife going through cancer vs. drug addiction. 

[5:15] How would your friends and family, and community, react differently to a cancer diagnosis vs. a drug addiction diagnosis? 

[8:55] Codependency is just another way of blaming, labelling, and shaming innocent caregivers.

[11:55] Codependency is underappreciated and is not a mental health diagnosis.  

[14:00] When someone is diagnosed with cancer, they read every book and every resource to help the people they love. 

[17:00] When it comes to codependency, which book should you be following? There’s so many and some of them are not qualified. 

[21:00] Maybe the reason why we keep writing about this over and over is because it’s never quite worked before? 

[24:00] As people help people through addiction, they shouldn’t be labelled as ‘broken’. 

[25:00] When did therapists ever do treatment and blamed clients for not fitting into our ‘model’? Yet this happens with supportive partners within addiction all the time.  

[29:40] Therapy goes much faster when you don’t label, and blame, the spouses for trying to navigate their partner’s addiction. 

[33:15] Stay tuned for part two next week! 

 

RESOURCES: 

The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’?

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101 

Seeking Integrity

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men 

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

It Will Never Happen to Me! by Claudia Black

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Diagnosing and Treating Co‑dependence by Timmen L. Cermak

 

QUOTES:

• “What is the difference between someone who is medically ill and someone's in crisis and someone who is mentally ill and addicted and they’re in a crisis?”
• “Codependency is just another way of blaming, labeling, and shaming innocent caregivers who have done nothing more than try to rescue the person they love.”
• “As far as insurance companies are concerned, codependency doesn’t exist and as far as mental health is concerned, codependency doesn’t exist.”  
• “This angers loved ones, leaving them wondering why so much attention is being placed on their dysfunction when they’ve been the hyper-functional ones all along.”
• “Not being where the client is leaves clients feeling more judged than understood.”