Geremy Dixon: The Distraction of Unforgiveness

When you’re incapable of disconnecting yourself from past pain and trauma, it impedes your ability to walk in the success you desire. Think about it. How often do you allow the pain someone may have caused you in the past to come up again and again in the present? Geremy Dixon wastes no time jumping into this topic. Join me as I sit down with my very own pastor and discuss all the parts of forgiveness you didn’t know you needed. In this episode, Geremy shares excerpts from his Unstuck Series – a 5-part series covering UnLoad, UnPlug, UnCover, UnShackle and UnSubscribe. This episode focuses particularly on UnShackle, as we dive into what it means to forgive and how critical forgiveness is to our own well-being and success. This episode is brought to you by our complimentary Purpose Chasers Community. Connect with like-minded listeners of the Redefining Wealth Podcast who all desire to improve in the Six Pillars of Wealth.   About Geremy Dixon Pastor Geremy has served as associate and now Lead Pastor for over 18 years at Center of Hope LA in Inglewood, CA. Known for his approachable demeanor and common-sense method to Kingdom living, he has the unique ability to connect with individuals from all walks of life. Pastor Geremy’s particular blend of humor, inspiration and sound biblical grounding has opened doors for him to be a guest facilitator and well-sought-after speaker at churches, conferences and conventions, both nationally and internationally. Articulate, passionate and driven he is one of the emerging voices proclaiming God’s desire to establish His Kingdom in the marketplace.   Actively Pursue Forgiveness “As long as we’re not actively pursuing forgiveness, we’re standing at the gate of incarceration for everyone we’ve ever held in contempt.” – Pastor Geremy Pastor Geremy says the way in which we legitimize past pain and trauma is by highlighting the fact that what took place necessitates some sort of punishment. We seem to believe that it necessitates some act that rights the wrong, and that we have to be the one to make sure the “wrongful” person has paid their debt to us in some way. If we’re not careful though, as we seek to bring about justice in someone else’s life, we find ourselves having to stay until the proceedings are over or the sentence is served. So, now imagine having to live guarding the gate of someone who has a life sentence. Think about how often you’d think about the pain they caused on a minute-by-minute, day-by-day and year-by-year basis. Sadly, and painfully, it would always be right there. And yet, there’s a world out there waiting for us and all that we have to offer, but when unforgiveness creeps in, our mind shifts from all that’s available to the pain and brokenness, and we can’t forgive, forget or move on.                                                                          How many times has this happened to you?   Arrest/Pre-Arrest Investigation “Before we can give forgiveness, we have to get clarity around whether what we’re offended about really happened.” – Pastor Geremy Think of it how Pastor Geremy does and ask yourself these questions: Did I see it myself? Who are the people bringing it to my attention? Are they credible? Is it a misunderstanding? Do I assume certain people see me a certain way? Do I feel offended not because something was wrong, but because I wanted it a different way? For many people, we hold grudges with people who didn’t do anything to begin with. And in a lot of cases, we find out that unforgiveness is not necessary because there wasn’t really anything wrong to begin with. That’s why it’s so important to investigate these past offenses and to clearly understand what took place.    The Arraignment This is where Pastor Geremy says the “wrongful” individual gets to hear exactly what they’re being charged with.  If and when it’s possible and safe, it’s imperative for the process of forgiveness to be able to sit with the person who has offended or harmed you and have a conversation about how you feel.   To do this effectively, you need to be clear on the real problem. Knowing this will help you articulate your feelings and understand why you are hurt. Then when you sit down with the other person, you can approach the conversation with strength and confidence. You can ask questions instead of placing blame, and you can create a space for dialogue. “When we are offended and emotionally charged, we’ll pile on charges that are not even necessary.” – Pastor Geremy   Release on Own Recognizance Here he says, you allow the person in question to be released while the case is being built. In other words, you suspend judgment. For many of us, a situation will happen and we jump immediately to this happened and that happened, and start making assumptions, drawing conclusions and making judgments. But what we should do instead is suspend judgment until we’ve had time to sort out the situation. Making a judgment before we’ve had a chance to look at the situation or to talk with the other person, makes the process so much harder to work through.    Trial, aka “Conversation” This is critical. Pastor Geremy says conversation can put you in a place of understanding and forgiveness. Many times, you’ll meet an individual who has lost their way or done something unbecoming, but when they begin to talk about their situation and talk about their world, your perspective changes. I, too, can’t stress the importance of conversation enough. When I have the chance to sit with a person who has harmed or offended me, to hear their story helps me to understand and accept their own brokenness and hurt. This is crucial for being able to move to a place of understanding and forgiveness.   Sentencing is Always Forgiveness The question you have to ask yourself here, he says, is: Is it release to reunification or a new normal? In other words, forgiveness is always the answer, but reunification is not always easy. Sometimes you’ll realize that you can’t go back to the same behaviors or the same relationship you had before with the person, BUT you can still forgive them. You can forgive and say, “It will never be what it used to be, but we can figure out a path forward or decide to go our separate ways.”    Restitution “People who harm me cannot provide restitution to me. They cannot undo what was done. They don’t have the capacity.” – Pastor Geremy He says to think about restitution like this. Let’s say a person steals something from you. They can (and should) return the item to you, but they can’t return the safety you felt before you were robbed. The feeling of vulnerability and insecurity that you could have your possessions or even your person impacted at any moment by someone who has ill intentions is something that can only be restored by God.    “Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.” – Patrice Washington   “Forgiveness is not the removal of the charge. It’s the refusal to sentence them to death.” – Pastor Geremy   Visit www.geremydixon.com to find out more about Pastor Geremy.   Redefining Wealth Rapid Wisdom Questions And with that, let’s dig into Geremy’s responses to our Redefining Wealth Rapid Wisdom Questions.   Define Success: “I am walking in absolute purpose according to God’s design, not my own.”    Define Wealth in 3 Words or Less: “Peace, purpose, risk.”   One Book that Has Redefined How You See Wealth: “Unlocking Heaven by Kevin Dedmon”   Fill-in the Blanks … “My name is ___ and the truth about wealth is ___”: “My name is Geremy and the truth about wealth is you have more of it than you recognize.”   LINKS:   To advertise on the podcast: http://www.patricewashington.com/podcastads   Become an Official Purpose Chaser: http://www.iamapurposechaser.com   Join Patrice’s Pod Club: http://www.patricespodclub.com   To check out ALL of our past guests + episodes: http://www.patricewashington.com/Listen   If you have questions about booking Patrice or sponsoring the podcast, email us at info@seekwisdomfindwealth.com.   Find me in Social Media:   Our podcast hashtag is #RedefiningWealth   Instagram: @SeekWisdomPCW   Twitter: @SeekWisdomPCW   Facebook: @SeekWisdomPCW   YouTube: @SeekWisdomPCW