How to Release Control with Sharon Hodde Miller

Hey friend! Today, I welcome back to the show one of my dear friends, pastor, author, and speaker, Sharon Hodde Miller. This much-needed conversation about our craving for control and what happens when we don’t deal with it gave me so many things to think about, and I think it will do the same for you! 

Be sure to listen in to hear as Sharon shares how the advice she heard about handing control over to God (while entirely true, biblical, good, and important even) wasn’t exactly helpful as she struggled to navigate life in the middle of the pandemic… as a wife, mom, and church planter. 

Sharon realized that it wasn't just that she didn't have control but that it would cost her dearly when she tried to have it. So much wisdom is found in what she discovered…. I promise you don’t want to miss out on this eye-opening conversation!

Sharon pastors Bright City Church in Durham, NC, with her husband, Ike. She is also the author of three books, travels around the country speaking at churches and conferences each year, and holds a Ph.D. on women and calling. 

Listen in to learn more about:

• How control is an illusion that will break more than it fixes in our lives and relationships.
• Identifying the red flags that could indicate controlling behavior and ways to address them.
• How our generation brings our control issues to the internet instead of God.

Favorite quotes:

~Whenever we feel anxiety, we reach for control to soothe that anxiety. But control is not able to do that. What it actually does is exacerbate our anxiety even more.

~God does not give us control but he gives us agency. Agency is power with limits.

~Make room so that you can actually pay attention to what’s going on inside of you. Don’t turn on podcasts, audio books or music when you are in the car, just sit in silence when you drive and then name accurately what’s going on inside of you . Very often it’s not something outside of you, it's something spiritual going on inside of you.

~We were created for security and stability and so whenever we feel that fear, that overwhelm; that is our soul recognizing there is a dissonance with the world around us.

In this episode I answered this question:

1. How do you know as a coach that you don't want to work with someone?  (40:55)

Links to great things we discussed:

Sharon Hodde Miller (@sharonhmiller) • Instagram photos and videos

The Cost of Control Book - Amazon

This Is Thomas Newman | Spotify Playlist

Top Gun: Maverick (2022) - IMDb

Only Murders in the Building (TV Series 2021– ) - IMDb

Mark Sayers Book- A Non-Anxious Presence

Nuuly: Clothing Rental + Resale Marketplace

See A Victory | Live | Elevation Worship - YouTube

Dashing Diva USA: Shop Glaze, Magic Press, Gloss & Glue-On Nails.

Join the Confident Motherhood Community here.

Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :)

xo,

Alli