“Am I Gay? Coming Out of Cultural Christianity & LGBTQ+ Identity Into Authentic Faith in Jesus” by Garry Ingraham (Love & Truth Network)
If homosexuality is “innate”, if people are “just born that way”, why has the number of Americans who consider themselves gay leapt from 2% to 7.2% in a decade? The author says, “Most people who think they are gay, aren’t. Most are simply confused, hurt, and seeking love and affirmation in ways that create further self-harm.” He should know, for he spent decades trying to figure out his identity, only to finally realize that he, like all of us, can only truly find our authentic identity in Christ.
Ingraham grew up in the church and went to Bible School, but never found genuine acceptance. He spent years sad, lonely, feeling as though no one cared deeply for him. So, he buried his pain in alcohol, pornography, sexual self-abuse, and eventually fully embraced the “gay lifestyle”. It all left him miserable and broken.
Pre-teens who are small, less muscular, are often bullied or excluded from the normal play of other boys (You never forget being the last one chosen for every single game or team. I know.) Boys who are exposed to pornography at a young age can be permanently affected by it, distorting their understanding of women, and of relationships. Knowing what your children are doing and monitoring their online interaction closely is critical. So is showing them unconditional love.
He “meticulously identifies the stages of development of one’s identity, especially for males, and explains how rejection, wounding, or sexual abuse. An foster self-doubt, especially in formative years.” Ingraham states, “The simple truth is, for good or bad, we are profoundly impacted by the environments” in which we grow up.” He is a firm believer in helping parents prepare for (and minimize) adverse childhood experiences.
“Anything outside of God’s design for sexual expression does damage to the people involved”, he explains. “It damages our soul—whether we realize it immediately or years later. God-given attraction is rooted in the differences between and the correspondence of, male and female. American culture has gone off the rails. Authentic hope is not found in discovering and living ‘your truth’. Rather, there is one Truth, and it comes from God alone.”
Ingraham survived years of self-abuse through alcohol and illicit sexual behavior, which left him drained and grieving. He takes us through his journey to wholeness in God through this painfully-honest memoir.
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